but all the king's horses and all the king's men...

Confession: I fully intended on being in bed by midnight tonight, but I had the misfortune of the song "Christmas Shoes" becoming stuck in my head, and I HAD to get that out of there if I wanted any hope of falling asleep. So now I'm listening to Starship. Thanks, Muppets!

Have you ever had a very special decoration for a holiday (let's go with Christmas since it's soon-ish) that was a family treasure? Okay, now pretend that one year you open up the box and the decoration has broken! Oh no! But only four or five pieces are broken, so maybe with a hot glue gun you can fix it? Plus, you HAVE to put it up because it was Gammy's favorite and now she's dead, so if you don't, her ghost will come and bop you over the head. So you glue the Christmas crap back together, but it never looks the same. You can totally see where the cracks are and perhaps there's some dried glue stuck in places where the gun got away from you. Ladies and gentlemen... I am the Christmas crap decoration.

You better put that POS decoration up, see? It was Gammy's favorite, see?

The latest update on me is that I'm 100% sure that my body is teaming up against me. Over the weekend, I started to have a LOT of hip pain again, which I have periodically, but this was way worse than usual, and I typically don't have pain when I first wake up in the morning, but I have in the last couple of days. So there's that. Plus I now have pain in my knees. I have shitty knees already, thanks to skating, band, falling a lot, and genetics, but now that I'm lifting things (lightweight things like socks) correctly, I'm using my knees to support the weight instead of my back, which is what you're supposed to do, but now my knees hurt. Along with my back, and now my hip. What the actual fuck? It's like, by trying to fix one thing, two other things break? When I met with my physical therapist this morning, she told me (after some stretches for my hip) that she thinks what's happening is that because I've been working on not overarching the small of my back, one of the discs may have moved ever so slightly, and the some of the muscles near the bottom of your back connect to your hip. So all of those exercises I've been doing where I curve my back so that if I'm laying on my back, I sort of make  "C" have been hurting my hip. Now I get to do things while laying on my stomach. YAY. Not. Basically I need to strengthen all fuck kinds of muscles. Everywhere. At this point, I'm starting to think that I might as well give up and hope that reincarnation actually exists and I'll get a better body the next time.

I have so many aches and pains all over now. Logic tells me that if I stick it out and strengthen my muscles, in the long run I will be better off, but for right now, this fucking sucks. I know that this is how workouts work. You start off okay, not great, but you make a little bit of progress, and then you fall down the well and Lassie doesn't notice and then it's up to you to get out of the well. And it takes three years. However, I don't want to be in a fucking well! I want to be able to sit on the couch without a pillow I'm borrowing from my 83  year old grandmother. I want to be able to walk without having to stick my hand into my back, or my hip, or my knees, to give them the support they need. And I want it now.

Basically, I feel the same way I did after my car accident a couple of years ago. If you've ever been in a car accident, you know what I'm talking about. Even if it's not a huge accident that results in a hospital visit, the first couple of days after an accident you feel like shit. Sort of like you were used for an ogre's game of hacky sack.

I didn't think a Google search for "ogre hacky sack" would come up with anything. But it did. 

The good news is that I asked the question I didn't want to hear the answer to: I asked my physical therapist if I should limit myself on any rides at WDW next week. Basically, she said to avoid things that have a quick turn in one direction and then the other because it makes it harder for my back muscles to figure out what the fuck is going on. Otherwise, she said to use my best judgment. So in the Disney parks, I think the only ride I can't do is Rock 'n Rollercoaster, which is a little sad because it's one of my favorites, but last year it gave me a headache, so that might not be such a big deal. I should be able to do Space Mountain because it's not as rough, and even though there are turns, it's a much slower ride and I know the track well enough to anticipate what will most likely happen next. My issue is going to be in Universal Studios/Islands of Adventure. (Isn't it always?) After last year, I already ruled out all of the Harry Potter rides, except for the Hippogriff coaster, which is basically like Big Thunder Mountain. Other than that, I'm really not sure. I got the Unofficial Guide to WDW out of the library, so hopefully I can get more detailed info on Universal rides there. I'm going to assume that almost any rollercoaster is out of the question, since Universal likes it rough. Again, not a big loss. I'm not a fan of Universal Studios in general, mostly because I have no experience with almost all of the movies there, except Harry Potter. So not riding things won't break my heart, although I'm expecting to be bored. At least I'll be able to hang out in Hogsmeade.

~ Christine

seriously, who wants to trade backs with me?

I'm convinced that my body is out to get me.

As you all know, I've been having a lot of back problems in the past few months. The good news is that the muscles that hold the bottom of my spine in place and prevent it from sliding back and forth are getting stronger. As of last week, I can sit comfortably for about an hour and a half on good days and an hour on bad days. The bad news is that now the muscles that prevent the bottom of my spine from rotating are weak. So some days my spine is rotated to the right, some days my spine is rotated to the left. It sounds a lot worse than it actually is. Apparently it's not unusual for people to have rotational issues with various body parts. Even my physical therapist has a rotated pelvis on some days. However, if I don't try to strengthen those muscles, over time it will get worse and more painful. Which, right now, it hurts a LOT. It's worse than my initial pain when I first started physical therapy. So I can't imagine how much it would hurt if I don't work on improving my back strength. I have some exercises to do at home since my physical therapist is out of town until next Tuesday, but she also warned me to not over-exert myself. I'm planning on continuing my walking, but I've given up on adding a quarter mile each week. My new plan is to walk as long as I feel comfortable and mostly pain-free.  And I'm cutting out the stationary bike, since the rotational issues have started to give me trouble once I started biking again. I'm not sure if they're connected, but considering I leave for Disney in a week and a half, I'm not taking any chances. I have Thermacare pads for my lower back for the bus, but now I'm thinking I might need them on other days too. I'm also bringing my heating pad for spending time in the hotel room. It's a relief to know what's going on in my back, but it's frustrating that I came SO close to being done with fixing my back, only to find another problem. Basically, I thought the light at the end of the tunnel was near, but it turns out that there's just another tunnel. At least now I have a plan on how to fix it... but it's going to take some time.

~ Christine

herp derp I'm a bad blogger

I have no good reasons for not blogging. Except that I'm lazy and I've been busy.

Here's the short and narrow:

- Alabama is great, but hot all the time.
- I love books, especially weird train books.
- Canada was nice and cool, and almost all of the Canadians were super nice. Of course they were nice, they got our taxes on all of the super expensive Canadian stuff we got.
- Just kidding. Canadians are awesome, but I really do think they might be afraid of the dark.
- This is not new news, but I am absolutely terrible at "casual dating." Seriously, I wish people just courted and then got married. Bam! None of this sketchy pseudo-casual crap. Also, I get jealous easily and I hate that I do, but at the same time I don't know how to not be a crazy jealous bitch. Again, nothing new. GAH.

Alrighty then. Good talk.

*runs back to tumblr*

~ Christine

is someone getting the best of you?

I've taken to blogging as a form of procrastination. Probably not my smartest choice, but there are worse things.

Boston was awesome! It makes me wish that I had stuck it out with the Flyer Pep Band in college, but it's not like quitting FPB was my only mistake in college or anything. Anyway, seeing (some of) my UD friends was amazing, traveling was amazing, being in a band again was amazing, cheering on a really kickass team again was amazing; I wouldn't take back last weekend for anything. Except that now I'm actually drowning in schoolwork. It's rushing into my lungs and soon I won't be able to breathe. I'm not really known for getting stuff done super early, but I had to get stuff done early last week so I could go to Merrimack, and now I have to get stuff done early so I can go on the Eastern trip. I want my professors to stop assigning things that are due on Fridays. Also, I'm over busywork. I do the readings and listen to the lectures, I pinky swear. Just don't make me write an essay every single week proving that I did, plus keep up with a million discussion threads.

I'm supposed to be finding a way to make myself be happy for five minutes a day, and it's really not easy. I'm either stressed, busy, worried, or tired. Happy and relaxed simply aren't in my schedule anymore. One of my friends posted a link on Facebook to a website that played the sounds of the ocean while you looked at the picture of waves, and the idea was for you to not do anything for two minutes. On my first try, I lasted 4 seconds. The second try was better, but the anxiety of not doing anything was making me panic that I was wasting time. I just wish I could see that relaxing isn't a waste of time. This is totally a trait I picked up from my mom. She doesn't know how to relax, and I think it's finally rubbed off on me. It probably sounds like crazy talk, but I wish I could take a vacation from myself. Just break out of my body and be free for a little while, without worrying about getting school stuff done, or applying for jobs, figuring out my schedule, or any of the other millions of things I worry about on a daily basis. It's gotten to the point where I sit and envy Rosie because all he does is lay around, lick himself, and sometimes he hops around in fit of happiness. His biggest worry each day is what time he gets his dinner salad. Lucky bastard.

I wish I didn't have to sleep. Or eat. Or shower. Talk about time consuming. If I didn't sleep, eat, or shower, I'd save about 11 hours each day, assuming I eat a quick breakfast and lunch. Eleven hours. What would you do with eleven extra hours? I'd certainly be caught up on my school stuff then. I might even have time to be happy. Or find places for all of the stuff I brought back from Kent a couple of weeks ago. Or play Animal Crossing. Or reinstall The Sims 3. Or retrieve the rest of the music I lost when my hard drive crashed. Or do something because I want to, not because I have to, or because it's something that people expect me to do. I could laugh. I don't laugh very much anymore. It used to be a daily occurrence, but now it might be days between laughs. Who has time to think about funny things? I would make a specific list of everything I think and worry about, but I'm not sure what good that would do. It's not like writing it down makes it go away. They're still little thought nuggets, permanently ingrained in my brain.

I'm nice and tired now. At least while I fall asleep I still have the ability to think about all of the happy things I want, but they usually put me to sleep before I have a chance to enjoy them. Of course, once I'm asleep, I never dream about what I was thinking about while I was falling asleep. Usually it's something terrifying or bizarre. Rarely do I have good dreams. I wish I had more control over my subconscious thoughts. I'd dream of nothing but happiness every night if I could.

~ Christine

I'm Addicted to You, Don't You Know That You're Toxic?

Words!

I'm not really sure what I put in my last entry. Probably not a good sign, but I'll just chalk it up to being super duper busy. Quick update on my lappy: It's STILL dead. I'm still waiting to hear back from the magical people who can recover data from broken hard drives. I'm also still waiting for Asus to resend me a new recovery disc. If I had known that it was going to take them this long, I would have saved myself the $60 and just hunted for it in my apartment in Kent (which I'll be back in for one night only on Thursday). Oh well. Live, learn, and back up your data! I might get that tattooed on my arm. Kidding.

Onto happier topics... I'm 24 now! Not so happy, but whatever. I'll fake it. I'm also having a lot of sinus pain, thanks to to weather being cold, then really warm, then cold and snowing and sleeting, then warm enough to melt the snow, then GIANT THUNDERSTORMS OF DOOM (and flooding), and now we're back to cold, but no snow. I kind of want to take the state of Ohio and slap it in the face like Katherine did to Casey on last week's episode of Greek. Pick a weather and stick with it! I can only use the steroid spray so often!

Now for an actual happy topic: I'm going to Boston in a week and a half! And now the creepers are checking their calendars... because the Eastern trip isn't for another two and a half weeks, and Boston's the end of that trip. Shock! Awe! Is it magic? HOW DOES SHE DO IT? I'm going with the Flyer Pep Band alumni to play at a couple of hockey games for Merrimack College. I know, right? That's totally wack! To be perfectly honest, I'm not entirely sure how this all has worked out, but I think the gist of it is that collegiate pep band directors do each other more favors than the mob. And the actual FPB is off at the A-10 tournament. So now I get to spend a weekend in Boston with some of my favorite people from UD, and I don't have to pay for it! Our flight is paid for, and so is our hotel. We may even get a daily food stipend, which would be the only thing I'd have to pay for. Of course, this isn't spring break for me or anything, so I'll still have to work on school stuff. My plan is to work my ass off before I leave so I won't have to do a lot while I'm gone, plus if I don't have my lappy back by then, I won't be able to work on stuff anyway! So I'm going to be SUPER duper busy again, but it's totally going to be worth it. If you tell me I get to travel, and I'll spend next to nothing, I'll go. Doesn't matter what I have to do, I'll go tap dance on Elvis' grave if I get to go somewhere!

The rabbit keeps glaring at me and yawning, so I should probably get to bed. In addition to getting all of my school crap done, I still have some stuff in Katie's room, plus I have a little bit of stuff to do in my own room too. In a way, not having my laptop right now is a blessing in disguise. I have very few distractions at the ready!

~ Christine

anticipation

I have one week left in this semester. That's all. One week. It feels like I have an eternity left, but I know that's only because I actually have something to look forward to. Being here has felt like a weird time warp. In a way, I can't believe the semester's already over, mostly because I feel like I should have made more friends by now, and I feel like I'm missing out on a lot of things I still have to learn. I know I'm only a quarter of the way done, but I have no patience. I want to know everything right now! At the same time, this semester seemed exceptionally long compared to my semesters at UD. Again, this probably has to do with a lack of a social life. I haven't even filled up one album with pictures on Facebook. I don't know the last time that I wasn't able to take 200 pictures in 4 months. I'm a shutterbug, but you can only take so many pictures of your hamsters.

I was reading an article earlier today on The Frisky on how to beat the winter blues, and one of the things mentioned was to have more time with friends. Right now, that's not an issue. I hang out with friends from UD at least once a week, and usually more than that. But I'll be perfectly honest, I'm really worried about what's going to happen once the snow gets bad. It's something I've had in the back of my mind all semester, but I haven't paid much attention to it because I assumed I'd have some sort of revelation and figure it out. Well, I haven't had any moment of clarity. I know it's been two years since my car accident, but I'm still really nervous about driving in winter weather. I have problems with Cleveland drivers when the ground is dry! It's times like these I wish I could apparate.

I like a good challenge. I've decided this week to start cooking more of my meals, instead of being a slave to Lean Cuisine/Smart Ones/Stouffer's meals. Granted, I'm not doing anything fancy or really complicated. I don't have the space to be complicated. As it is, I had to bake my ham and cheese biscuits that I had for dinner tonight in two shifts because my oven and cookie sheet are too small. So far things are going well. It also helps that I've started having one beer with dinner every night. I think that's going to have to stop though. Beer is tasty, but it's also calories that yummy water doesn't have. So thanks, beer. It was fun while it lasted.

You've probably figured this out by now, but I'm fairly time-obsessed. I always have to know what time it is, and I'm very concerned with times in the future. It makes countdowns for things like the Disney Trip so much more exciting, but it also drags me down sometimes. For instance, if I've been looking forward to something and it doesn't happen, it just makes me so much more depressed than if I hadn't thought so much about it. I don't stay in the present very well. I'm constantly looking forward because it seems like the things that are going to happen are much better than what's actually happening. Unless, I'm in the middle of something that I've been looking forward to. Like this past summer when I was on the Western Trip, I rarely thought about my family vacation to California, unless I was explaining to someone how busy that month of my summer was. As far as the past few months go, I haven't had anything really big to look forward to, so I think that's why I'm especially excited for this year's Disney Trip. Once the Disney Trip ends, I'll probably start looking forward to the Eastern Trip. I'm not sure how I feel about Christmas yet this year, but if I decide to be excited for it, then I'll have a week to be excited for it too. After the Eastern Trip is over, I really don't know what to be excited about, but hopefully something (like an internship) will come along before I have to face that. My mom always jokes that I suffer from Post Party Letdown. Luckily, I haven't been disappointed by many things that I've looked forward to in the last year or so. It drives me crazy when people are just content with their current situation. You can see these people on Facebook all over the place. They're the ones who post things like "work, sleep, repeat. eff my life." I want to kick these people in the shins. You want to talk about a mundane daily life? I sit here and sing Disney songs to my hamsters! But I'm okay with that because I have something to look forward to. So if you are one of those "eff my life" types, I suggest you make your own excitement and give yourself something to look forward to. Chances are, you deserve it.

~ Christine

the dog days are over!

I'm feeling slightly invincible tonight. Babysitting was awful, but I'm not even going to get into that, I've been in such a fantastic mood the last few days, and nothing would bring me down right now.

After my "Woe is meeeeee... I'm never going to a job and I'm going to be an old maid" rant the other day, I realized that I have a lot more going for me than I originally thought. Let's be honest. I've spent a large portion of my life selling myself short. When I think about getting married and starting a family, I feel like I'm being suffocated. But when I think about grad school, and leaving Ohio, I feel exhilarated. I've always had a sneaky suspicion that I'm meant to be more than some fat toad's housewife. And now, I know for sure that I am going to do awesome things with my life. I like a challenge. I'm a competitive person. Just ask anyone who figured skated with me. I want the best for myself because I work hard and I deserve it. I really don't know what got into me my senior year of college where I basically became a moist towelette. You could have walked up to that Christine and told her that the only thing she was good at was making other people happy while never thinking about herself. Well, no more of that crap! I'm looking out for number one!

Yes, the job market is pretty sucky. But I'm convinced that if I give it my all and I work hard, I'll be okay. For one thing, I really don't want to stay in Ohio. I'm not really sure that I want to stay in one place for a long time, but Ohio is just not a good place to be right now, both for me and for librarians-to-be. It's a good fit. I've applied for the job in Ravenna, and I'm crossing my fingers that I get it because otherwise I won't have money for food (which may be a good way to lose weight... if it worked once, it can work again!). Plus, I want the experience. The MLIS program has a practicum requirement for your last semester in the program, but that's it. So in addition to my hopeful library job, I really want to get an internship next summer. Ideally, I want that internship to be in Washington DC. I've loved DC since the first time I visited in the summer of 2001. I also have friends in the city now (*waves at Phil and Laura*) and I have my former roommate in Baltimore (*waves at Hollie*). I spent my afternoon yesterday Googling internships in DC for library sciences and there's more than I thought there would be. The one I'm really lusting after is for MLIS candidates who also have a background in music and would be interested in a career as a music librarian. Music librarian jobs are extremely rare, but if I have the internship experience under my belt, I would have a greater chance of being hired should an opening come along. It's completely perfect. Plus it would also be a great chance for me to experience life out of Ohio for a little bit. I'm so ridiculously excited at the prospect of spending next summer in DC, and I can't even apply for these internships until January! This really is the first thing that I'm doing to help myself in a long time. Everything has been for the benefit of other people, and I'm sick of living my life for the sake of other people's wishes. Now it's my turn.

~ Christine

sweet dreams of rhythm and Nyquil

It was bound to happen... after traveling for almost an entire month, I managed to get sick. I started having a stuffy nose halfway through the Western Trip, during my week at home, and during the entire length of my family vacation. Yesterday I was home for literally half an hour when *BLAMMO* I started to have a sore throat, an earache, and general ickiness. I think the cross country traveling has confused my body so much that it's been focusing on figuring out what the fuck is going on instead of warding off disease. Meh. I hopped on cough syrup and a lovely mixture of DayQuil and NyQuil, and now I'm clumsier than ever, and quite entertaining, according to my family. I shared this lovely gem at dinner tonight:

"Know what I just realized? The seagull from The Little Mermaid was named Scuttle and he liked to gossip! Like scuttlebutt!"

I've also decided that "fuck" needs to be made a larger part of my vocabulary on a daily basis. I say it quite a bit, but I'm tired of bottling feelings in, and "fuck" seems to cover the gamut nicely.

Did you know that if someone blocks you on Facebook they can't see your page OR what you've written on a mutual friend's page? I discovered this recently from blocking a certain colorguard instructor from high school, and I couldn't see what he had written on my friend's wall, but I knew he had written something based on the comments from her father that specifically addressed him. Now that I know this, I'm not going to hide as much anymore!

Did you also know that I've made an addition to FoHB? I'll give you a hint. It's proven to be very useful to see where my readers are coming from. So far I've had Columbus, Grand Rapids, Michigan, Vandalia (hmmm... wonder who that is!), and Chicago (this one stumps me a little because I have lots of people who I know in the city). I like it, but I'm still searching for a better version. This has some features I'm not too happy about.

Army Wives tonight really got to me. Wait, I almost forgot! **SPOILER ALERT** (Brenda, I'm looking at you!)











I can't imagine going through the process of someone deploying. One of my previous exes is currently in Afganistan, and I know that his family (at least his brother, who is a Facebook friend of mine) misses him so much. At the same time, if I really loved someone in the military, it would just have to become something that I dealt with. It's not like I've never done a long distance relationship, but usually those haven't been to someplace dangerous. It's weird because part of me is completely against the idea, but part of me knows that I wouldn't be alone in my loneliness, and that I've been through losses already in my life, so what's the worst that could happen? It's their job. There's really no sense in stressing over it. My mom always gets asked if she worries about my dad being shot at, and her philosophy is that if she was going to worry about that, she would waste her entire life. It's a very healthy attitude if you ask me. The simple truth is that people are killed everyday, whether they're soldiers, cops, or civilians.

In any case, I feel like the shit has really started to hit the fan for the ladies of Army Wives. Denise is preggo (yay!), but Frank got deployed before the baby is born, so he's missing out on that AGAIN. Pamela got divorced from Chase, which really makes me so sad, especially since I'm suspicious of him hooking up with his neighbor woman. Technically, he's not in the wrong, but it's still painful for Pamela (boy do I know how she feels). Claudia Joy's life is generally shitty if you ask me. She's lost her oldest daughter, now she has diabetes, her husband's being deployed for the first time since her daughter's death, and her youngest is about to leave for college. Joan's life since the show began has also been lousy. Her husband cheated on her while she was deployed, they worked it out, had a baby, then she got deployed again just a few months after Sara Elizabeth was born. Then she nearly got blown up by an RPG, had tons of shrapnel in her face and almost lost her vision. And now she has TBI as a result of that injury, can't deploy with her unit, and has to spend her time relearning basic things, like sorting out which things you would read and which things you can't. And then there's Roxy. She's always been my least favorite character, but I'm starting to feel bad for her. All she wants is a baby with her husband, and after she miscarried, she's been struggling to conceive, and just when they found a solution, her husband's orders were changed and he found out that he was deploying.

And thanks to warnings on Twitter, I knew that tonight would be a tearjerker. Foolishly, I told myself that it couldn't be that bad, but who am I kidding? I've cried many other times over TV shows, Army Wives included, and I knew that everyone (minus Joan) was deploying. So I held myself together until the absolute very end of the show and as the 23rd is boarding the planes, "Lux Arumque" by Eric Whitacre begins to play in the background as you see all of the families bidding their last farewells. This piece has always held a special place in my heart, simply because it made me love choral music. If you haven't heard it, shame on you, and here's a video:



Apparently the song is actually about the birth of Jesus, but it fits very well in this situation too. Lux means 'light' and in a weird way, it's almost as if the song gives hope to the families and the soldiers. Maybe it's the NyQuil talking, but I think that it wasn't just the beauty of the song that gave the producers the idea to put the song in the show.

Speaking of NyQuil, I'm getting tired, and now I'm listening to "Sleep" which is just making me more relaxed. You write some amazing things, Mr. Whitacre.

~ Christine

here's the rundown!

Allo!

I'm going to take this opportunity to demonstrate how awesome my day was.

- Woke up way early
- Spent about an hour and a half in LA traffic this morning
- Went on the Warner Bros. Studio tour!
- Got to see outdoor sets from Gilmore Girls!
- Got to see original costumes and props from Harry Potter!
- Got to see the set of Central Perk from Friends AND I got to sit on *the* couch!!
- Had a delicious lunch that included avocado
- Roasted in the hot LA sun outside Grauman's Chinese Theater and the Kodak theater
- Had a tasty milkshake from Coldstone
- Spent an hour and 45 minutes in LA traffic heading back to Anaheim this evening
- Laughed my ass off listening to Steve Hofstetter in the car
- Ate an okay dinner at Mimi's Cafe
- Watched my sister be served a blueberry muffin with butter and ranch dressing
- The end!

My vacationing is at last coming to an end... I left on the Western trip one month ago, and now I have just a few days before going back to C-bus for my last stretch of home time before leaving for grad school. It seems crazy, but I think I'm okay with being done with traveling for awhile. I need to get back on some sort of a regular schedule, and most importantly, I need to start thinking about grad school. To be perfectly honest, I've kinda forgotten about it. But no more! It's time to start thinking ahead.

~ Christine

jetsetting!

Hi all,

This is the second time I've tried to write this, but I keep getting distracted. Anyway, I'm back! And I'm about to leave again! This time I'm off to SoCal with my family. It'll be fun... we haven't had a true blue family vacay since the Boston Debacle of 2008 in Which Katie Became Very Ill and We Spent a Day of Our Trip in the Hospital. I'm not counting last year's trip as a real family vacation, although we did see (more) family, but it was just for a weekend.

There have been a lot of things bothering me recently. A lot of people in my life are changing and I don't like it. Personality traits that I used to admire are quickly being replaced with unappealing traits and I'm starting to feel like the number of good people is shrinking. Other people are making bad choices that I can't do anything about and I hate it. Honestly, this vacation could not have come at a better time. I need time away from almost all of the people in my life, and if I force myself to be around people when I don't want to be, I will destroy my relationships with them.

And now... quotes!

"If you always do what you've always done, you'll get what you've always gotten."

"You are now at a crossroads. This is your opportunity to make the most important decision you've ever made. Forget your past. Who are you now? Who have you decided you really are now? Don't think about who you have been. Who are you now? Who have you decided to become? Make this decision consciously. Make it carefully. Make it powerfully."

"If you don't set a baseline standard for what you'll accept in life, you'll find it's easy to slip into behaviors and attitudes or a quality of life that's far below what you deserve."

- Anthony Robbins

In other news, I bought a new mouse for my computer that actually works 100% of the time... so yay!

OH! And this is really exciting for me and maybe 3 other people, but when we're flying tomorrow we get DirectTV on the headrests on the plane because we got some special ticket through Frontier AND one of the channels that we get is USA AND there's an NCIS marathon on all day tomorrow starting at 6 AM and we have a 6:30 AM flight! *wiggles*

I just turned on Sticky Keys on my lappy by accident. What the hell are Sticky Keys and couldn't they come up with a not so disgusting name for it?

~ Christine

I think it's time we fill the empty chair

I think I'm suffering from blogging burnout. I really didn't expect to not write anything for more than a week. Well, I'm back now! *evil laugh*

I am in a funk. I've decided that I hate almost all people, for a variety of reasons, but mostly because they're all stupid. And I don't want to be around them. Everyone just irritates me right now. I'm sick of people who think that they're being helpful, when they're actually just being giant pains-in-the-asses. I need to get away, and not with 70 youth exchange students. I've always wanted to go somewhere alone, and 2010 has to be the year for that to happen. I've decided. I don't know where I'm going, but it's going to be somewhere without bitches.

On that note, I am happy to be going on the Western Trip, but I don't feel as prepared as I was for the Eastern Trip. Probably because I've never done this trip, and there are many places that I've never been on this itinerary. I decided about a week before the Disney trip that I was going, but that wasn't a big deal because I've been to Disney World so many times. It's not even that I'm nervous, I'm just worried. Normally, I would be 100% gung-ho about it, which I was about a week ago. But I've been feeling so blah and down in the dumps lately, I just don't know if I have the mental stamina to survive a two week trip. I just have to shake off these bad feelings I've been having. 

This is one of those times that I really wish I was still in a relationship. I have so much more that I need to say, but can't write online, and I feel like no one else ever REALLY listens to me. I don't care who you are, or what you argue about this, no matter what, you've ignored me or put your needs before mine at some point (like I'm sure I've done to you too) and I need to be loved unconditionally. That hasn't happened yet. Anyway, I wish I was in a relationship because I need someone who will actually listen to me.

And now my fucking internet keeps crapping out on me, so who knows when I'll actually be able to post this. ARGH.

~Christine


EDIT: Double thanks goes out to my baby brother for resetting our router and therefore fixing the internet, and for chatting with me and saving me from going to my dark place. Now, I'm going back to watching NCIS, just to make sure that the dark place stays away.

the end is near! head to the basement of Founders!

I did it! I blogged every day for an entire month! And it was a real month too, not like pussy February (I'm clearly not loyal to my birth month at all...). All 31 days and I spurted bullshit for each and every one of them.

I had actually planned to do a bit more in celebration, but I've been feeling lousy all day. I'm blaming the graduation party food. Too much richness! I even turned down a shopping trip this afternoon, that's how crappy I have felt. Anyway, you're all in luck because I happened to have a cracked-out dream last night, and I was smart enough to save it in a Word document this morning while I ate brekkie.

I had a dream that I was talking with this girl who I used to work with at Cosi about why this guy who is one of our mutual friends is apparently upset with me. We were walking and talking as we headed into a school, and then we got into a classroom. I think it may have been an English class. Anyway, there was this really gorgeous guy sitting next to me. But because I’m me, I pretended to not notice him, because come on, the gorgeous ones never notice me first. Well, this one did. He kept staring at me, and I was starting to think that there was something wrong, but I checked and made sure, and yes, I had put on all of my clothes, and they were properly fastened.  Then he started talking to me. I honestly don’t remember anything he said, except that he wanted me to try to drink blood. Yup. He was a vampire.

So we leave the school, and we go to this weird restaurant-type place and sit in a booth. Not only does he want me to drink blood, he wants me to drink HIS blood, and naturally, he wants to drink mine. Then somehow, two cupfuls of blood appear in front of us, so we both start to drink. He, of course, had no trouble drinking my blood, but I was a little hesitant. Finally, I got the balls to do it, and his blood tasted like red wine. Since we drank each other’s blood, now we’re bonded to each other for life. And since he drank my blood, now he can hear what I’m thinking (I know, I know… it’s pretty Twilight-y), but I gain nothing from drinking his blood, except that I feel especially clingy, but he doesn’t seem to mind, so it’s okay.

Now that we’re bonded to each other, he wants to have sex with me. So we leave the restaurant, and go out onto the street. Unlike Twilight, he loves to be in the sun, but he never tans. Unfortunately, I don’t see us having sex in my dream, but I know we do because oh yes, the vampire got me pregnant. And just like in Twilight, my pregnancy moves along very fast. I am ginormous within a couple of days of being pregnant. I don’t see myself giving birth, or even doing anything with the half-vampire baby, but I know that at some point, I gave birth because suddenly I am back to my normal size and people seem excited for me. At this point, the stupid thunderstorm woke me up before I could see my vampire baby.

Before anyone asks, I haven't seen or read the Twilight series in a long time, so I have no idea where this came from. However, I've decided that I really want the vampire character to come back on The Sims 3, like they had on The Sims 2. Guess what I spent almost my entire day doing...

Okay, so now that BlogMonth is officially over, I don't know how often I'll be posting. Chances are, it'll be pretty regular at first, now that I've gotten used to writing every day, but if I skip a day or five, don't send out the search dogs. And I would shocked if I have time to write at all when I'm on the Western Trip, which, by the way, is in TWO WEEKS! I can't even begin to explain how excited I am for this trip, especially since there's a decent chance that this year will be the only year I'll be able to do it, thanks to weddings next summer. *sadface* And when the Western Trip is over, I come home, go to Vicki's wedding, and that Wednesday, my family is flying to California for a week and a half! Hello, sunshine!

~ Christine

proper hydration is the key to successful blogging

I don't feel good. I've been alternating all day between being very stressed out and very calm, and I think that in combination with the heat has finally made me ill. Really, I think I'm just very dehydrated, but I'm pretty sure that today's emotional rollercoaster caused part of that... like causing me to forget to drink water. Plus, I'm really tired this evening. I wasn't, until after dinner.

In other news, I have my workout regimen down to a T. I bike for 30 minutes on the "Random Hill" setting, then I have 2 minutes of cool down (forced upon me by the bike), and finally I row 2000 meters. I tried it today, and I think I like it. The rowing hurts my ankles a little bit when I'm all scrunched up (that's the technical term for it...) but it's a good hurt, and today was the first time I've rowed in a very long time, and it took me 13:06.6 to row that far, so it's not like it's a really long distance. Maybe eventually I'll work my way up to 5000 meters. I've gotten a lot faster on the bike too... I'm now biking as far as it took me to bike in 44 minutes back in the fall (about 11.5 miles, for anyone who cares). I'm still fat as a whale, but that's from lack of consistency. It seems like every time I start to get into an exercise routine, something comes along and gets in the way. Either a trip, or an injury, or a job... but I'm hoping to make the most of this time before the Western Trip in a couple of weeks.

Speaking of, I'm pretty bummed because I don't think I'll be able to do the Western Trip next summer. One of my friends from grade school/high school is getting married, and my cousin is getting married. Actually, they're getting married on the same day. What are the odds...

I had an epiphany last night. I realized that I had been really, really wrong. For anyone who doesn't know me well, this is a BIG deal. Ask anyone in my family, my friends, or any previous roommate of mine and they will tell you: I believe I am right. Always. So for me to realize that I was wrong ON MY OWN without being told by someone else, "Hey dumbass, you're wrong," is a huge step for me. And not only that, but I admitted that I was wrong to whom it mattered. Another very big step for me! This was two giant steps out on a very thin little tree branch, and it scared the hell out of me. Anyway, my big steps basically went unacknowledged, and I know I shouldn't make such a big deal over it, but it's me, so I am.

Yup. This is all you're getting for today because I feel like crap.

~ Christine

it's a momentous day!

Today has been a good day for the most part!

I found out that I am officially a chaperone for the Western trip in June! Yaaaay! I had my fingers crossed BIG TIME on that one. Instead of taking two 55 passenger buses and struggling to fill both of them, now we're taking two 45 passenger buses and fit comfortably. I'm ridonkulously excited! I've never been to California before, and even though my family's going there for our vacation this year, I'll see more of it (but spend less time there) and with my family we're staying in the L.A. and San Diego area. AND I'll get to go white water rafting! I know, girl who hates water and can't swim well at all... going white water rafting? But it's something I've always wanted to do. And I might as well do it now! This of course means that I need new shoes. These are the ones I'm lusting after:

They're just so pretty... and strappy... and PINK! And I can wear them hiking and rafting! Too bad they're $70 and I don't have that money right now. But I will save! Donations accepted!

I also caught up in my reading of Dan Bergstein's Blogging Twilight/New Moon/Eclipse. He writes for the Sparklife blog. Anyway, I don't remember if I have a link to the page on my list of links to the right, but if I don't, I will post one as soon as I post this! His blog is HILAR. If you hate Twilight, you will find it funny. If you love Twilight, you will find it funny (as long as you have a thick skin). It's basically the best analysis of the series out there. Go read it. NOW.

And now for the grand unveiling of... NAUGHTY HAIKU! That's right. Today is a momentous occasion in FoHB history. Let me give you the naughty back story:

Back when I was a wee lass, I attended a garage sale at my grandparent's church. Actually, I think I've been to the garage sale almost every year that it's been in existence. But this particular year was of significance because on one of the "Miscellaneous" tables, I discovered a magnetic poetry kit. Not one of the specialized theme kits, oh no! This was an original, basic magnetic poetry kit. And I naturally fell in love, bought it, and took it home to be placed in a pile of junk and forgotten about for about 8 years. BUT THEN while I was cleaning out my hellhole of a bedroom a couple of months ago, I rediscovered my precious magnetic poetry kit, and I rekindled our long-lost flame. Now the magnets are happily situated on my tall filing cabinet (which I might add has the organizational system of a plate of spaghetti) and today I came up with the brilliant idea of writing naughty haikus! Mind you that this is not the R-rated set or anything. The words that came with my set are very tame on their own, but when placed appropriately, they have a bit of spice to them that can only be described as naughty. So when I feel like it (or when I'm drunk) I will write naughty haikus, take their picture, and post it on here so that you all may enjoy their spankiness. I decided that instead of simply rewriting the haikus, I would take a picture of the magnets so that you can see how I arranged them so carefully (or drunkenly). And now... the first NAUGHTY HAIKU!

*sniff* I'm so proud of my little word magnets. They've come so far! Also, after today I won't be typing "Naughty Haiku" so large or bold because I know some of you read this at work/school and that's not really work or school, is it?

Two out!

~Christine

hail the sunshine!

I'm back from the expensive land known as the East Coast! Actually, I did very well with my money on this trip. I bought a few souvenirs, which I wasn't planning on doing originally, but it's really hard to go to NYC and not buy a t-shirt... or three. And I bought a shot glass from the Library of Congress in DC. I figure that as a future librarian, it could come in handy.

Speaking of, I found out while sitting in Cafe Dello Sport in Bahston that I got into Kent State! Yay! This means that I'm eligible to be considered for an assistantship. So that's a giant elephant off of my shoulders.

In other news, I thought that Gertie (my car) was fixed, and for not a lot of money either, but it turns out that she isn't. The check oil light problem is still going strong. Womp womp. So hopefully I can get her back to the shop soon because this is ridonkulous. I want to not be nervous every time I press on the brakes!

Oh yes, I got the okay from my doctor about my potential illness(es). But in the meantime I've developed an infection in my foot from walking around in the pouring rain in DC last week. Somebody has completely shit on my coats.

Today would have been my Grandpa's 84th birthday, so we're going to a memorial Mass for him tonight and then out to dinner. Yippee. Can you feel my enthusiasm? To be perfectly honest, I have enough emotions already, I don't need any more. At least it's gorgeous outside today. I've been bitten by the traveling bug already again, and I'm ready to go away somewhere. Never mind that I just got home on Sunday evening. Traveling is like crack for me. Except it doesn't normally make me skinny or give me night sweats. But yeah, springtime always makes me want to go places. I gotta be freeeeeeeee!

~Christine

a little nugget of my life

Howdy!

The next few weeks are going to be busy, but I'm excited! This week, I'm babysitting a ton, which will be awesome because I need money. Somehow, my bank account keeps hovering around the name number, and that is a number that will not let me go to grad school! Then a week from Friday, I leave on the Eastern trip! Well, I don't actually go anywhere on Friday... I sit in a hotel lobby and check people in, but early on Saturday, I leave! And the weather is getting better, and the snow is melting, and my room is significantly cleaner! Hip hip hooray!

I've spent the last couple of days really working on cleaning and organizing my room, and I have to say, while it's far from perfect, it's so much better than it was! My biggest improvement is that I finally got my TV back into my room, even though I can only watch DVDs on it. I've organized my bookshelves and nightstand, and I got it so that most of my clothes can be put away. I still have a laundry basket of folded clothes sitting around, but I'm okay with that. Now, my big remaining project is still... THE CLOSET! But that'll have to wait until after the trip. No way am I going to start another project now.

Hmm... this is not one of my more interesting posts. Sorry about that.

~Christine

M-i-c-k-e-y M-o-u-s-e!

I've decided that letting fate have it's way with me seems to be the best choice when it comes to how I live my life.


The day after I wrote my last post, I got an email from Bill McMurray saying that if anyone else wanted to chaperone the Rotary Disney trip, there was space! So guess who's going to be leaving for Disney on Thursday! *points thumbs to self* This guy!


I am ridiculously excited. No really, I've been saying for weeks that I need a change of pace and I need to get out of here. Now that my family isn't going to Disney after Christmas, I wasn't sure if I was going to make it to the RotEast trip in March. But now, I just have to wait a few days!


In honor of my upcoming Disney trip, I'd like to post a few pictures from my last trip to Disney almost two years ago.


Exhibit A: The O'Donnells ride a monorail "sober":


Exhibit B: The O'Donnells sport very attractive bug glasses (also "sober"):


Exhibit C and D: Father and Eldest Daughter O'Donnell attempt to be Mexican:





And finally, Exhibit E: The entire O'Donnell clan in front of Spaceship Earth:


Expect more pictures when I return.

In the meantime, I have approximately seventy billion things to do, and most of them are fun. Tomorrow I'm meeting Brenda for some Chipotle. Then Monday my mom and I are visiting Kent State. Then Tuesday I'm planning on working out, doing laundry, and then going shopping for some things for my trip. Wednesday I'm meeting up with the Rotary group and then we leave Thursday morning!

It's a good thing all this extra exercise has really boosted my energy. I made it to the gym FOUR times this week and I feel fantastic! I know I still have a long way to go, but the way I see it, I am a work in progress. And Disney is a lot of walking, so at least I'll be getting plenty of exercise on the trip... except for bus days. I've looked on the websites for the hotels we're staying at, but the only one that has a gym listed is of course, the hotel in Florida. Where it doesn't matter if I get to the gym or not. Who knows, I may not get to work out at all. So next week won't be as good as this week. But the week after that, I'll be back on track, scout's honor!

~ Christine

I gotta get outta this place...

I wasn't planning on writing anything tonight, but Megavideo seems to be convinced that I've already watched 82 minutes of video today when I haven't, so I can't watch the next episode of Army Wives. Which gives me 53 minutes to write. Blah. And by the time I can watch something, I bet I'll be too tired to watch it. Damn. I would just download the episodes on iTunes, but for some unknown reason iTunes still has season 3 listed as a season pass, which puts it at a whopping $47. No thank you! I be poor.

I worked out again today. Hooray! I'm going to make a bigger effort to get to the gym on a regular basis. My mom has set a goal for me to lose five pounds a month. It doesn't seem like much, but in a year, that's 60 pounds... if I can stick with it. I'm hopeful, but at the same time I'm already expecting failure from myself because when it comes to weight loss, I tend to do a better job of gaining weight than losing it.

We finally got around to activating Home Sharing on iTunes this past weekend. So I got some new music from my brother's iTunes. I got about 140 songs and a few TV shows. Oh, and the movie Stepbrothers. He originally had 1200 songs set up to download, but only about 700 went through.

Oh no. Now I'm going to have "Marco Polo" stuck in my head. I know Bow Wow is from Cbus and all.. but REALLY. How the hell did he turn a childhood pool game into something sexual?

42 minutes to go...

I started a fanfic about McGee not understand The Sound of Music a long time ago, but I never finished it. I also haven't published the first story I wrote that I waited over a month for Katie to edit. Hm. Maybe I should work on that.

Well, my family is officially not going to Disney at Christmas this year. I was hopeful because it seemed like my mom was really on board with the idea, but my Debbie Downer dad brought up the money issue, so now we're not going. I'm super bummbed because I really need to get the hell out of Ohio. I have not done nearly enough traveling to satisfy me. Pretty much the only thing I have to look forward to is the Eastern Trip (which I'm chaperoning again - yay!) but that's not until March. I may explode before then. I need sunshine. I need warm weather. And I need Mickey Mouse. Okay, well maybe not the last bit. But someone cute who always has a smile on their face would be nice.

Oh yes, and I'm back on the "I want a dog" kick. I'm applying to work at a few pet stores in the area and just walking into the stores today made me want to get a puppy. I know they're a lot of work, but as I pointed out to my mom earlier, if I had a dog I would HAVE to exercise everyday because doggies need to be walked. Really, any cuddly animal would do. Rosie's a fabulous bunny (as seen by the 3,424,325 pictures of her I've taken recently) but she's technically not mine, she's Katie's.

"Thunderstruck" just came on. Now I'm thirsty and I want to go to the Fieldhouse. Which reminds me, at one point in my mental breakdown last night, I burst out into tears because I missed UD. They don't prepare you for that one during freshman orientation... just saying.

33 more minutes.

I do believe I tweeted about this fairly recently, but I'm completely in love with the Jay-Z/Linkin Park mashups I got from Mike. I'm not sure who came up with the idea to combine the two, but they are a musical genius. And I have a BA in music, so I feel justified in saying that.

I just rewatched the men of NCIS jibjab video I made a few weeks ago. It never fails to make me smile.

18 minutes... maybe I'll play Airport Mania for a bit.

If anyone's seen my life, please let me know. I want it back.

~Christine

Side Note: HOLY MACKREL! Look at all the labels that applied to this post! I'm so random.

I love airports! (sometimes)

I'm presently sitting at my gate in the Denver airport, entirely too early, since my flight doesn't leave for another 2 hours and I'm already through security. I have to say, this airport is pretty nice, since it has a nifty little train that takes you to the different concourses. The nifty little train also plays a little jazzy piano thing when the doors are closing. And it gives you attitude and makes you feel guilty if you try to run onto the train at the last minute and the doors close on you. I believe it says something along the lines of "The doors are closing. YOU are preventing this train and its passengers from leaving on time." It's a little scary. It also has nice cushy leather armchairs by the gates with electrical outlets to plug in lappys. However, the internet here sucks! At the Indianapolis airport, I had to sit at a bar on a stool to plug in my laptop, which wasn't very comfortable, but at least my internet worked! Here, I waited for almost five minutes for Facebook to load. And here, there's an annoying bar at the top of my internet page where I can search the Denver International Airport for flights or shops. Um, there's a big screen to the left of me that lists all flights. And who honestly goes to the airport for shops? If there's not something by your gate that you like, walk about 100 feet and there will be something else. Dur.

Anyway, I had an awesome time in Denver with Bill. This trip was a little less tourist activities, which was nice. We went up to Estes Park for a day and a half, and that was great to get out of the city for a bit. I took some amazing pictures of nature things up there. I'll post some pictures here, but they'll all be up on Facebook in short order, since all 4 of you who follow this are also my friends on Facebook.

Hmmm... change of plans. The whole posting pictures thing doesn't seem to be working too well with a crappy internet connection. I guess you'll have to look on Facebook. Maybe the crappy internet will let me post to Facebook? We'll see... I still have awhile before my flight leaves!

- Christine

is it karma? or am I just screwed?

I'm tired of things being broken. Between my housemates and my general bad luck, it's getting old. Yesterday I got my new car stereo installed, which is good! It's very pretty, but I'm not really sure on how to use it yet. However, I also had one of my bowls broken and my earbuds that I got for Christmas broke. Not the biggest deal, except that I'm going to spending a decent amount of time either sitting in an airport, or sitting on an airplane, in the next week. That brings me to my next bit of bad news. Denver is supposed to be getting a ton of snow tomorrow! I thought about moving my flight to a 7 AM flight, but they're supposed to be starting to get snow at midnight tonight, so that wouldn't help me much. Plus, I'm flying out of Indianapolis, so that would put me at leaving Dayton at 4 AM at the absolute latest. That's not gonna fly. (ha...ha...) Hopefully, by the time my plane leaves at 4:15 tomorrow afternoon they'll have had a chance to clear off the snow. I just hope there's no ice. God, I hate ice.

So here's the plan for the rest of today:
- finish lunch (which presently is chocolate and mandarin oranges)
- prettify myself. apply 3 gallons of hairspray because there are 50 mph gusts in Dayton right now
- usher Friday at 1
- work
- go to SWE :-(
- go to the store and pick out cheap earbuds to serve me temporarily while I take advantage of my warranty on my skullcandy ones
- learn how to use my car stereo
- eat dinner with anyone who's left on campus tonight
- pack for Denver and Columbus!
- watch What Not To Wear and Say Yes to the Dress
- sleep!

Ready... go!

Oh, and if you're into praying, please pray for me and anyone else who's traveling either today or tomorrow. Between the intense wind and the snow storm, this is probably the worst (weather)start to a spring break since I've been in college!

- Christine