anticipation

I have one week left in this semester. That's all. One week. It feels like I have an eternity left, but I know that's only because I actually have something to look forward to. Being here has felt like a weird time warp. In a way, I can't believe the semester's already over, mostly because I feel like I should have made more friends by now, and I feel like I'm missing out on a lot of things I still have to learn. I know I'm only a quarter of the way done, but I have no patience. I want to know everything right now! At the same time, this semester seemed exceptionally long compared to my semesters at UD. Again, this probably has to do with a lack of a social life. I haven't even filled up one album with pictures on Facebook. I don't know the last time that I wasn't able to take 200 pictures in 4 months. I'm a shutterbug, but you can only take so many pictures of your hamsters.

I was reading an article earlier today on The Frisky on how to beat the winter blues, and one of the things mentioned was to have more time with friends. Right now, that's not an issue. I hang out with friends from UD at least once a week, and usually more than that. But I'll be perfectly honest, I'm really worried about what's going to happen once the snow gets bad. It's something I've had in the back of my mind all semester, but I haven't paid much attention to it because I assumed I'd have some sort of revelation and figure it out. Well, I haven't had any moment of clarity. I know it's been two years since my car accident, but I'm still really nervous about driving in winter weather. I have problems with Cleveland drivers when the ground is dry! It's times like these I wish I could apparate.

I like a good challenge. I've decided this week to start cooking more of my meals, instead of being a slave to Lean Cuisine/Smart Ones/Stouffer's meals. Granted, I'm not doing anything fancy or really complicated. I don't have the space to be complicated. As it is, I had to bake my ham and cheese biscuits that I had for dinner tonight in two shifts because my oven and cookie sheet are too small. So far things are going well. It also helps that I've started having one beer with dinner every night. I think that's going to have to stop though. Beer is tasty, but it's also calories that yummy water doesn't have. So thanks, beer. It was fun while it lasted.

You've probably figured this out by now, but I'm fairly time-obsessed. I always have to know what time it is, and I'm very concerned with times in the future. It makes countdowns for things like the Disney Trip so much more exciting, but it also drags me down sometimes. For instance, if I've been looking forward to something and it doesn't happen, it just makes me so much more depressed than if I hadn't thought so much about it. I don't stay in the present very well. I'm constantly looking forward because it seems like the things that are going to happen are much better than what's actually happening. Unless, I'm in the middle of something that I've been looking forward to. Like this past summer when I was on the Western Trip, I rarely thought about my family vacation to California, unless I was explaining to someone how busy that month of my summer was. As far as the past few months go, I haven't had anything really big to look forward to, so I think that's why I'm especially excited for this year's Disney Trip. Once the Disney Trip ends, I'll probably start looking forward to the Eastern Trip. I'm not sure how I feel about Christmas yet this year, but if I decide to be excited for it, then I'll have a week to be excited for it too. After the Eastern Trip is over, I really don't know what to be excited about, but hopefully something (like an internship) will come along before I have to face that. My mom always jokes that I suffer from Post Party Letdown. Luckily, I haven't been disappointed by many things that I've looked forward to in the last year or so. It drives me crazy when people are just content with their current situation. You can see these people on Facebook all over the place. They're the ones who post things like "work, sleep, repeat. eff my life." I want to kick these people in the shins. You want to talk about a mundane daily life? I sit here and sing Disney songs to my hamsters! But I'm okay with that because I have something to look forward to. So if you are one of those "eff my life" types, I suggest you make your own excitement and give yourself something to look forward to. Chances are, you deserve it.

~ Christine