dayo, daaaaaayo, daaaylight come and I wanna go home/back on Facebook

I've survived 39 hours without Facebook. And I'm not dead!

Actually, until about 10 minutes ago, it hasn't been that bad today. I worked late today (and by late, I mean an extra 30 minutes, but every minute counts!) so that cut into Facebook time. I honestly don't remember what I did when I got home today. I know I tweeted, but everything before dinner is a blur to me. So yes, I've done my very best to stay busy. I've noticed that it's when I start to be bored that I want to get on Facebook. Makes sense to me. But I'm actually having to work harder at not being bored. It also helps that my time to be bored is at a premium these days. With being at work for 8 hours a day, and there's a 20 minute commute on either end, plus there's dinnertime, and the fact that I HAVE to get to bed before midnight if I want to be a human the next day (as opposed to the night before my first day of work when I believe I fell asleep close to 1 AM), I don't have as much free time to get on Facebook as I did when I was babysitting/not working at all.

Honestly, the worst part of this whole thing has been the people who have gotten pissy with me for deactivating. FOR SERIOUS WE ARE STILL FRIENDS. I'm not talking about the people who have asked me if I deleted Facebook, I'm talking about the people who are in a panic-striken pissy mood because they can't creep on my Facebook page right now. Get a grip. If you REALLY want to know what's up with my life, text me. If it wasn't for the fact that I am hopelessly addicted to Facebook, I would just delete it permanently just to prove my point that if you consider yourself to be a real friend and not a Facebook friend, you need to make an effort in real life to communicate with that person. I don't care if people want to write on my wall or whatever. I get that it's easier sometimes. But for the people who haven't made an effort to communicate with me even on Facebook, you have no right to be pissy. Sorr about the bag.

Okay, I'm done ranting. I wonder if this is what it feels like when a smoker tries to quit smoking. Actually, I'm a happier person in general these days. Even though my job is pretty mundane, at least I'm out and talking to grown-ups. Not that I don't love talking to the kids I sit for, they are hilarious and awesome, but sometimes it's nice to remember what grown-ups talk about, i.e. not what Barbie is going to do at her wedding that's also at the prom but only after she watches the little robot toys battle. I genuinely miss babysitting. It's a constantly changing job, where this job is the same thing. Over and over. And over. And sometimes under. And over again. I realized today at work that I like kids much more in person than I do when I'm trying to read their chicken scratch handwriting.

I don't have much else to day, other than today's installment of NAUGHTY HAIKU. Oh! After I'm done writing this, I plan on re-watching last night's episode of NCIS. Mmm... Tim McGee. I kinda felt bad for Susan. I hope to bejeezus that I'm never that pathetic/daft/irritating as fuck when it comes to men. I dole out relationship advice enough to make me think that I don't, but sometimes I wonder. Anywho, except for the moment where McGee saw that Susan had brought him coffee and he literally turned around and bolted, I was very proud of how he handled that whole situation. But seriously, she bought a coffee for you, not a leash. Calm the eff down. And I LOVED Abby's rant in autopsy about Susan/McGee. At least the other characters on the show are finally recognizing the sexual tension between McAbby that's been building for the last 7 years. I don't know if I would wait for someone for that long. I know that they've both dated other people in that time frame, but they both went through dry spells too. And none of their other relationships have been healthy or serious. Hmmm... I'm super excited for the Abby and McGee go to Mexico and have to share a bed in a hotel room episode!

I realize I was a bit of a cocktease there, putting out the NAUGHTY HAIKU signal and then not delivering results. But we all know that NCIS is better than NAUGHTY HAIKU, don't we? Be careful how you answer that, it's a trick question! Okay, and now as promised, today's NAUGHTY HAIKU!

Not as naughty as I would like, but still kind of naughty in a Stefenie-Meyer-can't-say-the-word-sex-in-the-Twilight-series way. I'd give it a PG-13 rating.

Speaking of Twilight, Jackie sent me a hilarious Tumblr page the other day that I think you all would enjoy. It's called Twilight Sucks. Now let me clear about something. I don't hate Twilight. Do I regard it as a literary masterpiece? No. Do I use as an advice column about what to do with boys? Hell no. But I respect it for what it is: fluff designed to make teenage girls go ape shit. It does a pretty good job at that. I know that I'm no longer a teenage girl (fuck! when did I get old?) but I would still consider it to be a decent piece of fluff. A hell of a lot better than some of those Harlequin romance novels I used to steal from my mom... what's the statute of limitations on that? Anyway, my point is that I find this Tumblr fantastically funny, especially the pictures of Twilight scenes with quotes from Mean Girls. Just know that if you are a die-hard Twilight fan that you need a thick skin to visit said page. Also, you need better literary tastes, unless you also like Harry Potter, in which case I absolve you of your sins.

Don't stop the music!

~Christine

you're my kind of heroin, Facebook

Allo!

I have made an important decision in my life. Some of you already know this, like if you're OMG obsessed with me... I have deactivated my Facebook account. I suggested it on my status a few days ago and almost caused a riot. It just goes to show how addicted we all are. Come on people! We had friends before Facebook! I'm not sippin' Haterade on y'alls now just because I got rid of Facebook. I STILL LOVE ALL OF YOU. And I mean that in the sense that I love everyone, and I love all parts of everyone. Ha. Kidding. Some of you shouldn't take off your clothes. Ha. Kidding again. But seriously, I don't want to see my friends naked! Wow, this got awkward quickly... moving on.

The Facebook thing isn't permanent, I promise you. I'm going to be genuinely shocked if I make it through the whole week without it. In case you haven't read any of my Tweets, I am not coping well without my precious StalkerBook. I had to remove the tab on my bookmarks bar to resist the temptation to click on it. My mouse still wanders to where it used to be. Now there's the button for my MySpace. Yes, on occasion I still dig out that old brontosaurus, mostly because no one uses it and I can post all of those super trashy bulletin surveys that people on Facebook judge you for posting too often. Whatever. Anyway, if you miss me on Facebook, I won't be gone long, and if you're a creeper 2.0, you can always follow me on Twitter, both literally and figuratively. Or you know, check el bloggito to see what I write, but I'm warning you, I have that little widget-y thing set up to only show my 10 most recent tweets. I'm a tweeting FOOL these days!

I started a new job yesterday! It's not too bad, but I'm starting to get bored already. I don't know how much of it I can tell you people in BloggityWorld about it because I had to sign about a million confidentiality papers yesterday and I would rather not lose my job a là Meg McBlogger. Soooo yeah. That's all I'm saying about that.

And now, today's installment of NAUGHTY HAIKU! Brought to you today by guest poet, Mommalicious! I have to warn you, she made this haiku (of sorts) by closing her eyes and randomly selecting magnets. I'm sure there's some technical term for that, but I don't give a hoo-ha.

It has adapted a very interesting pattern of 6-3-5. I'm not quite sure what to make of it.

Okay kids, it's bedtime for this working woman!

~Christine

ennui

Hi.

This weather really sucks. I don't like the rain when I'm already in a bad mood. Rain is supposed to be there when you've been in a really good mood for such a long time that you need the rain to knock you down a notch. Let's make a list!

Emotions Christine is Feeling Right Now:

- sad

- bored

- pain (I have a headache)

- antsy

- stressed

- tired

- angsty

And finally...

- ENNUI

For those of you who were not blessed enough to watch Gilmore Girls when it was on TV, here is a clip explaining what ennui is:

That is me in a nutshell right now. I'm not entirely sure why, I had a lot of fun this afternoon with Brenda, Jackie, and Dustin, but then I got home and it was like WHOOMP! EnnuiMonster! I think it's partially because I've been disappointed a lot lately and I'm getting really tired of it. Nothing seems to really be going my way, and unfortunately I can't do a damn thing to make things go my way.

I want my financial aid packet from Kent State. I want my car to not be a lousy piece of crap. I've noticed now that even when I'm in other people's car, I automatically tense up when we stop at traffic lights because I've trained myself to check to see if the check oil light is on when I'm stopped. I'm tired of being broke all of the time. I want to be able to buy things and fix things, but without money, you can't do anything. I'm also deathly afraid that I won't be able to go to grad school at all next year because of the money.

I'm tired of being lonely all the time. For the last 6 months in my relationship with Bill, we barely saw each other, and we really should have seen each other more often. Scratch that, we should have WANTED to see each other more often. Sadly, our relationship was healthier when he was in Denver. I just want to be in a relationship where the guy makes an effort. It's really done a number on my self-confidence. I am done pulling the wagon. He has to help! (and by 'he' I mean the hypothetical male figure that doesn't exist) I mean really, what the hell is with guys today? They've gotten lazy because now that us women are all independent thinkers who make the first move, they think that they don't ever have to make the first move. That's not the case! Some of us women have gotten burnt out and we deserve a break. As much as I'm all for women's rights, sometimes I wish we were back in the days where girls waited for the guys to call them to ask them out. None of this texting/Facebook/IM business. None of this elusive crap when the girl asks the guy out, because guys are so much harder to read than girls. Guys, if you can't tell when a girl is interested in you, you don't deserve her. (ironically, "Tell Him" by Celine Dion and Barbara Streisand just came on my iTunes. that's the problem RIGHT THERE.) Anyway, I want a simpler time. If a guy calls you and asks you to dinner on Friday night, he's interested in you. Plain and simple. But if a girls calls a guy and asks him to dinner on Friday night, it could be as friends, or it could be a romantic thing, or worse, one person could think it's a friend thing and the other could think it's a romantic thing. THIS IS WHY WE NEED LABELS. They suck because they make men all anxious and weird because they all have commitment issues (and many women do too, let's be fair) but sometimes you just need to get it all out on the table.

Can you tell I'm in my man-hating phase? Actually, it's more of a love/hate phase. Hate for all of the previous reasons stated, but love because I'm lonely and I'm definitely a relationship person.

And now for today's installment of NAUGHTY HAIKU:

It's not so much naughty, as it is angsty, but that's just how I am right now. Suck on that!

~Christine

puuuuuuuuuurge!

Today has been a day of purging. I purged my Facebook of unnecessary information. I purged my phone of old numbers belonging to people I don't like or don't talk to anymore. I purged my computer of over 20 GB of videos and pictures. I wanted to cut my hair, like I usually do after a break-up, but I've also been in a pissy mood today, and that's no time to make an important decision about a haircut. Anyway, it's been a cleansing sort of day. Clearly I still have some things to work out, but hey, that's what newly single girls do sometimes.

I've been doing a lot of thinking about what I want. The last time I was single, I made a list of what I want in a guy and I posted it on my wall. Ultimately, I sacrificed a lot of things on that list, and I really shouldn't have. I'm learning slowly that you can't change people. I read an article online somewhere (I honestly forget where, otherwise I would cite it!) that said that you will subconsciously learn the flaws in a person the first time you meet them, and you either have to deal with them or move on. Sometimes they're okay flaws, sometimes they're endearing flaws, and other times, they're flaws that really suck. So I'm working on my new list. I'm not entirely sure yet what's going to be on the list, but I'm not going to sacrifice as much as I have in the past.

And on a lighter note, we have a guest poet for today's NAUGHTY HAIKU! None other than my favorite momma, Mommalicious! She wandered into my room a few days ago and saw the previous NAUGHTY HAIKU I had written, and attempted to write her own. Here's what she came up with:

Yup. That's my momma! She didn't quite get the whole 5 syllables - 7 syllables - 5 syllables thing. But at least she tried!

~Christine

it's a momentous day!

Today has been a good day for the most part!

I found out that I am officially a chaperone for the Western trip in June! Yaaaay! I had my fingers crossed BIG TIME on that one. Instead of taking two 55 passenger buses and struggling to fill both of them, now we're taking two 45 passenger buses and fit comfortably. I'm ridonkulously excited! I've never been to California before, and even though my family's going there for our vacation this year, I'll see more of it (but spend less time there) and with my family we're staying in the L.A. and San Diego area. AND I'll get to go white water rafting! I know, girl who hates water and can't swim well at all... going white water rafting? But it's something I've always wanted to do. And I might as well do it now! This of course means that I need new shoes. These are the ones I'm lusting after:

They're just so pretty... and strappy... and PINK! And I can wear them hiking and rafting! Too bad they're $70 and I don't have that money right now. But I will save! Donations accepted!

I also caught up in my reading of Dan Bergstein's Blogging Twilight/New Moon/Eclipse. He writes for the Sparklife blog. Anyway, I don't remember if I have a link to the page on my list of links to the right, but if I don't, I will post one as soon as I post this! His blog is HILAR. If you hate Twilight, you will find it funny. If you love Twilight, you will find it funny (as long as you have a thick skin). It's basically the best analysis of the series out there. Go read it. NOW.

And now for the grand unveiling of... NAUGHTY HAIKU! That's right. Today is a momentous occasion in FoHB history. Let me give you the naughty back story:

Back when I was a wee lass, I attended a garage sale at my grandparent's church. Actually, I think I've been to the garage sale almost every year that it's been in existence. But this particular year was of significance because on one of the "Miscellaneous" tables, I discovered a magnetic poetry kit. Not one of the specialized theme kits, oh no! This was an original, basic magnetic poetry kit. And I naturally fell in love, bought it, and took it home to be placed in a pile of junk and forgotten about for about 8 years. BUT THEN while I was cleaning out my hellhole of a bedroom a couple of months ago, I rediscovered my precious magnetic poetry kit, and I rekindled our long-lost flame. Now the magnets are happily situated on my tall filing cabinet (which I might add has the organizational system of a plate of spaghetti) and today I came up with the brilliant idea of writing naughty haikus! Mind you that this is not the R-rated set or anything. The words that came with my set are very tame on their own, but when placed appropriately, they have a bit of spice to them that can only be described as naughty. So when I feel like it (or when I'm drunk) I will write naughty haikus, take their picture, and post it on here so that you all may enjoy their spankiness. I decided that instead of simply rewriting the haikus, I would take a picture of the magnets so that you can see how I arranged them so carefully (or drunkenly). And now... the first NAUGHTY HAIKU!

*sniff* I'm so proud of my little word magnets. They've come so far! Also, after today I won't be typing "Naughty Haiku" so large or bold because I know some of you read this at work/school and that's not really work or school, is it?

Two out!

~Christine

I should write things down more often...

Ta-da! I made my blog all pretty and fresh! I thought that it's time for a change, and the old look was so dark and blech, and let's face it, winter's over. If you're a blogging-type like me, you should check out the site where I found this layout. I posted their pretty pink graphic underneath my Formspring.me box. BEE TEE DUBS, I have been sorely lacking in questions from you fine folks recently. This makes me sad. I get the website to ask me a random question a day, but it's not the same! So show me your lovin' and ask away, por favor.

I am slightly disappointed in myself. I came up with a super fantastic idea last night while I was watching Glee, but then I went to sleep last night and I woke up and forgot 1/3 of my idea! Anyway, the basic idea was the stereotypical dumb jock on TV.

Exhibit A: Dean from Gilmore Girls:

Exhibit B: Finn from Glee:

First off, the physical similarities are uncanny. Same floppy brown hair, same doey eyes. Both are tall and broad shouldered. Both are high school boys.

Then there's their bizarre relationship histories. Dean dated Rory, dumped Rory because she didn't say 'I love you' after three months of dating (in high school!) then got back together with Rory, then became insanely jealous of Rory's friendship with Jess, then dumped Rory at the end of a 24 hour dance marathon because the insane jealousy overtook him. Then after he dated and married Lindsay in under a year, he cheated on his new wife with Rory multiple times, Lindsay found out, divorced Dean, and then Dean and Rory continued to date, until Rory's grandparents had a party and he saw her *gasp* TALKING TO OTHER BOYS. Dean Forrester, you are one nutty cashew.

I don't know nearly as much about Finn's relationships as I do Dean's, but Glee's only been on the air for half of a season. So far, Finn was convinced by his now ex-girlfriend Quinn (and can I just take a second to say that dating someone whose name rhymes with your own is WEIRD.) that he got her pregnant by making out in a hot tub. That's right. He was that stupid. Maybe he didn't have health class in high school yet, but even still, I knew what needs to happen to make a baby when I was in 5th grade. Finally, Quinn comes clean and then Finn dates Rachel, dumps Rachel, dates two other cheerleaders at the same time, then tries to get back together with Rachel twice. And that's just from last night's episode! So yes. Another basket case on the loose.

Harry, meet Sally

This afternoon I settled into my bed with a large chocolate bunny and a Cherry Coke Zero to watch one of my favorite rom-coms: When Harry Met Sally. I love Meg Ryan, and even though Billy Crystal isn't exactly the dream hunk of the late 80's of my choice, he's got that weird Mike Wazowski way about him.

Anyway, for those who live under a bushel basket and haven't seen this classic, the basic idea is that Sally drives Harry to NYC after graduation and they meet up again 5 years later and again 5 years after that, become friends, have sex, stop talking to each other, and then fall in love and get married. When Sally and Harry (awful names, by the way) first meet, Harry is dating one of Sally's friends, and on their long drive from Chicago to NYC, he makes a comment to her that he believes that men and women can't be friends because sex always gets in the way. When they meet again 5 years later, he explains his theory further:

Basically, the only possible way for men and women to be friends is if they are both in committed relationships, and even then it rarely works out because their partners will most likely be insecure and get jealous. I have to say, I agree with this theory. When I look at my friends, the overwhelming majority are females, and there's a big portion of gay guys. But I have very few straight male friends, and even then, most of them aren't close friends. Every single one of my closer straight male friends I ended up dating. And my absolute closest guy friends are gay. I've always assumed this was because I'm a girly girl and while I love guys, they're not about the feelings and the chick flicks (most of the time, unless they want sex). But now I see it's not just because I'm a girly girl, it's because I'm a girl! So thank you, Billy Crystal (and Rob Reiner), for clearing up one more thing in my giant web of a personal life.

~Christine

blame it on the a-a-a-a-a-alcohol

In the past few days, I've learned something about myself: I'm not very good at being single. It's true. I don't have a lot of experience with it, and when I am single, I'm anxious, drunk, and sexually attracted to guys who are questioning their sexuality. Then I make out with them and they figure out that they're gay. Which, okay, yay for them, but it friggin sucks for me. Anywhoodles, I've spent most of the last week seriously craving alcohol. Yes, I realize this makes me sound like an alkie. I completely remember why I spent so much of my junior year of college drunk. (ha, that's ironic) It wasn't that I turned 21 (although that played a part in it), it was that I was single! I'm not even sure why I want to drink so much as a single lady. All of the dating advice articles I've read advise against being a lush because that's how you get taken advantage, and come on, who actually meets their soul mate when they're about to black out? Maybe it has to do with a freedom issue. My first serious boyfriend wouldn't let me drink if he wasn't there (and people wondered why we had problems...) and even with my most recent ex, I always felt guilty for drinking around him because he wouldn't drink much around me. It does a number to your ego when you're ALWAYS the drunk girl. Maybe I should find my next boyfriend in a bar...

Next topic at hand: ANXIETY! I have been so bored. SO. BORED. So bored that I can actually feel my brain going to mush, which may be why I've been acting like an idiot. Seriously, I am not a good conversationalist right now. It's like talking to a 3 year old on acid. I make no sense, and I often just start laughing spontaneously. I've always been a smidge wacky, but the level of wacky is getting worse. I need to get out of my house, and not just to go babysit 3 year olds. It's kinda sucky. I was pretty anti-social this fall, and now I have the urge to be super social. But a lot of my friends are in school, or have jobs that are more than just a few hours a week. But I have this need to be entertained constantly. I also really want to travel again, even though I haven't even been home for two weeks. In a fight or flight situation, I am most definitely a flight kinda girl.

And onto my last issue: being sexually attracted to guys who are questioning their own sexuality. Luckily, this has not happened this time around. Probably only because all of the guys I know have figured themselves out now. Hip hip hooray. But I need make out buddies for when I'm drunk and anxious! How else am I supposed to cope with this whole single business? I should probably channel my sexual frustrations, anxiety, and love of alcohol into something productive, like working out. But let's get real. I won't. I know me too well. I am a hot mess.

~Christine

angryface

How ironic. My last words from my last entry were, "I gotta be freeeeeee!" and that night I broke up with Bill.

I'm not going to go into details because if I think you're deserving of them, chances are you already know. And if you think you're deserving of them, and I haven't told you, message me on Facebook or something.

Anyway, life goes on. My toe is almost completely healed, thank goodness. I get to keep all 10 of my toenails, although I can't paint them yet. Bummer. My feet look weird without any polish. Oh well, I'm just happy to have my toe getting better. I'm hoping that this was the last foot incident of the year, although it's only April, and I've already had a problem with both of my feet. I have a terrible track record.

Easter was weird this year, but to be honest, I don't really count anything as normal anymore. There have been too many changes in my life in the last year for me to treat it as a reliable source of stability. I'm okay with it being unpredictable because it makes things interesting, but at the same time, I need some constants too! The one thing I missed a lot this year was getting chocolates from a store in Pittsburgh called Catoris Candies. Every year, we got a variety of bunnies and chickens from there and they are the BEST Easter candy makers, in my opinion. I may see if I can order some online, once I get money again. Also, the absence of Cadbury eggs was a downer too. But those I can get anywhere.

Monday was a very important holiday in our family: Rosie's first birthday! It's weird... if you would have told me a year ago that I would become very emotionally attached to a pet rabbit, I probably would have laughed at you. But Rosie is really like a 6th person in our family, largely because of his snarky personality. Also, the fact that he's adorable helps too. We didn't have a ragin' b-day bash like Katie and I wanted, but we did sing 'Happy Birthday' to him... twice. He also got a large portion of yogurt drops (his favorite snack!) and excessive playtime. I'll post pictures on Facebook.

Today, I've been angry. I've been angry because I don't have a right to be angry. When you're dumped, you get together with your girlies, get drunk, and bitch and moan about the man who wronged you! But when you're the one doing the dumping, you kinda lose that right. I can't blame this on anyone but myself. He didn't hurt me, I hurt me. So now I'm angry at myself, and I'm angry at the world for making me feel like I can't be angry. I biked for awhile at the gym this morning, and that helped me a little this morning, but then this afternoon I watched Mulan 2 and somehow that has set me off again. And now I'm taking my anger out on other people. Schmastastic. Watch out world, the bitch is on the loose!

~Christine