The Lion Sleeps Tonight

For anyone who lives under a rock and hasn't been following the news in the past day, there were wild jungle animals roaming the Zanesville area last night thanks to a (crazy) man who had about 50 of them on his property, and after returning home after being in prison for an arms violation, decided to set them free and then kill himself. That's the super abbreviated version, but I'm assuming that most people have been following what's been going on.

Initially, I was so sad to hear that many of the animals had been shot and killed. However, now that Jack Hanna has spoken out in support of the Muskingum County Sheriff's Department to shoot and kill the animals that were found last night, I think that they made the right choice. Obviously, I love animals and I want nothing but the best care for them, which clearly these animals did not have, but in a situation where human life is at risk, the humans are going to have to take priority. It is very difficult to safely tranquilize an animal at night since once they are tranquilized they may run/stumble away. Just as people react differently when they are given a shot, every animal is different, plus when coupled with their nature to hunt and kill, it can be a very volatile situation if the animal does not calm down immediately. In the dark of the night, these animals are a danger to humans, and the safety of the animal is at risk too. One of the animals that was loose was hit by a car on I-70 last night, and if the sheriff's department didn't act quickly, more animals could have been hit by cars, putting the lives of humans at risk.

What irks me is that animal rights activists are attacking Jack Hanna's support of the sheriff's department's decision. Jack Hanna may be a little wacky, but he IS a professional zoologist. In other words, he knows his stuff. This is not big game hunting that he's supporting, this is the safety of human lives that he's supporting. He even said that he wished that they could have tranquilized more animals because there are zoos all over the country that are stepping up and offering homes for these animals, but because of the short amount of daylight that was left when this whole ordeal started last night, they didn't have a choice. He recognizes that these are WILD animals, just like the animals at the Columbus Zoo. You can't tame a wild animal, and especially looking at the horrifying living conditions these animals had, there's no way that they are going to look at humans as a friend. After all, it was a (very stupid) human that got these animals into this mess in the first place.

If you're going to be upset with someone, be upset with Terry Thompson who very foolishly chose to house so many exotic animals in unsafe conditions. Be upset with Governor Kasich for not giving Jack Hanna's proposal to tighten up the laws regarding ownership of exotic animals top priority. Be upset with the animal breeders who sold Terry Thompson all of these animals in the first place. But don't be upset with Jack Hanna. I can't even imagine the heartbreak he must feel watching all of those beautiful dead animals lose their life because their owner was foolish enough to attempt to set them free. If this had happened early in the day yesterday when there were more hours of daylight remaining, perhaps more animals could have been tranquilized and saved. But police generally do not carry tranquilizer darts on them because most tranquilizers are not safe for use on humans. They had no choice. Tranquilizing large wild animals isn't always the safest procedure either. In fact, Jack Hanna said on the news earlier that one of his friends who was a veterinarian was killed by a tiger that he was attempting to tranquilize. Yes, it is very sad that so many animals are dead, but I think we should remember how they got to be in this situation in the first place. It wasn't their choice to be set "free," but it is in their nature to hunt and kill for food. Even if it was a solitary animal instead of almost 50 animals, it could have turned out differently.

I want to see change. Nothing like this should ever happen again.  According to this article, Ohio currently does not regulate the possession of non-native animals AT ALL. How is this even possible? Former Governor Strickland had issued an order banning the possession of big cats, bear, and wolves, but our lovely current governor has let that order expire. So now, if you want a bear, you need a permit, but other than that, anything goes. Please explain to me how this makes any sense. First of all, who in their right mind would look at a lion and want it for a pet? You want a cat? Go to the Capital Area Humane Society and save a rescue kitty. You want a bear? Get one of these dogs:

Newfoundland: There's a reason why they're called "Gentle Giants"

They're the closest thing anyone should get to owning a bear. If you really want to see wild animals, get a season pass to the zoo or The Wilds. In the meantime, I'm thankful for the few animals who were able to make it through this terrifying ordeal alive. Now, go hug your dog/cat/rabbit/other legal domesticated pet, and tell them you love them.

~Christine

is someone getting the best of you?

I've taken to blogging as a form of procrastination. Probably not my smartest choice, but there are worse things.

Boston was awesome! It makes me wish that I had stuck it out with the Flyer Pep Band in college, but it's not like quitting FPB was my only mistake in college or anything. Anyway, seeing (some of) my UD friends was amazing, traveling was amazing, being in a band again was amazing, cheering on a really kickass team again was amazing; I wouldn't take back last weekend for anything. Except that now I'm actually drowning in schoolwork. It's rushing into my lungs and soon I won't be able to breathe. I'm not really known for getting stuff done super early, but I had to get stuff done early last week so I could go to Merrimack, and now I have to get stuff done early so I can go on the Eastern trip. I want my professors to stop assigning things that are due on Fridays. Also, I'm over busywork. I do the readings and listen to the lectures, I pinky swear. Just don't make me write an essay every single week proving that I did, plus keep up with a million discussion threads.

I'm supposed to be finding a way to make myself be happy for five minutes a day, and it's really not easy. I'm either stressed, busy, worried, or tired. Happy and relaxed simply aren't in my schedule anymore. One of my friends posted a link on Facebook to a website that played the sounds of the ocean while you looked at the picture of waves, and the idea was for you to not do anything for two minutes. On my first try, I lasted 4 seconds. The second try was better, but the anxiety of not doing anything was making me panic that I was wasting time. I just wish I could see that relaxing isn't a waste of time. This is totally a trait I picked up from my mom. She doesn't know how to relax, and I think it's finally rubbed off on me. It probably sounds like crazy talk, but I wish I could take a vacation from myself. Just break out of my body and be free for a little while, without worrying about getting school stuff done, or applying for jobs, figuring out my schedule, or any of the other millions of things I worry about on a daily basis. It's gotten to the point where I sit and envy Rosie because all he does is lay around, lick himself, and sometimes he hops around in fit of happiness. His biggest worry each day is what time he gets his dinner salad. Lucky bastard.

I wish I didn't have to sleep. Or eat. Or shower. Talk about time consuming. If I didn't sleep, eat, or shower, I'd save about 11 hours each day, assuming I eat a quick breakfast and lunch. Eleven hours. What would you do with eleven extra hours? I'd certainly be caught up on my school stuff then. I might even have time to be happy. Or find places for all of the stuff I brought back from Kent a couple of weeks ago. Or play Animal Crossing. Or reinstall The Sims 3. Or retrieve the rest of the music I lost when my hard drive crashed. Or do something because I want to, not because I have to, or because it's something that people expect me to do. I could laugh. I don't laugh very much anymore. It used to be a daily occurrence, but now it might be days between laughs. Who has time to think about funny things? I would make a specific list of everything I think and worry about, but I'm not sure what good that would do. It's not like writing it down makes it go away. They're still little thought nuggets, permanently ingrained in my brain.

I'm nice and tired now. At least while I fall asleep I still have the ability to think about all of the happy things I want, but they usually put me to sleep before I have a chance to enjoy them. Of course, once I'm asleep, I never dream about what I was thinking about while I was falling asleep. Usually it's something terrifying or bizarre. Rarely do I have good dreams. I wish I had more control over my subconscious thoughts. I'd dream of nothing but happiness every night if I could.

~ Christine

I'm Addicted to You, Don't You Know That You're Toxic?

Words!

I'm not really sure what I put in my last entry. Probably not a good sign, but I'll just chalk it up to being super duper busy. Quick update on my lappy: It's STILL dead. I'm still waiting to hear back from the magical people who can recover data from broken hard drives. I'm also still waiting for Asus to resend me a new recovery disc. If I had known that it was going to take them this long, I would have saved myself the $60 and just hunted for it in my apartment in Kent (which I'll be back in for one night only on Thursday). Oh well. Live, learn, and back up your data! I might get that tattooed on my arm. Kidding.

Onto happier topics... I'm 24 now! Not so happy, but whatever. I'll fake it. I'm also having a lot of sinus pain, thanks to to weather being cold, then really warm, then cold and snowing and sleeting, then warm enough to melt the snow, then GIANT THUNDERSTORMS OF DOOM (and flooding), and now we're back to cold, but no snow. I kind of want to take the state of Ohio and slap it in the face like Katherine did to Casey on last week's episode of Greek. Pick a weather and stick with it! I can only use the steroid spray so often!

Now for an actual happy topic: I'm going to Boston in a week and a half! And now the creepers are checking their calendars... because the Eastern trip isn't for another two and a half weeks, and Boston's the end of that trip. Shock! Awe! Is it magic? HOW DOES SHE DO IT? I'm going with the Flyer Pep Band alumni to play at a couple of hockey games for Merrimack College. I know, right? That's totally wack! To be perfectly honest, I'm not entirely sure how this all has worked out, but I think the gist of it is that collegiate pep band directors do each other more favors than the mob. And the actual FPB is off at the A-10 tournament. So now I get to spend a weekend in Boston with some of my favorite people from UD, and I don't have to pay for it! Our flight is paid for, and so is our hotel. We may even get a daily food stipend, which would be the only thing I'd have to pay for. Of course, this isn't spring break for me or anything, so I'll still have to work on school stuff. My plan is to work my ass off before I leave so I won't have to do a lot while I'm gone, plus if I don't have my lappy back by then, I won't be able to work on stuff anyway! So I'm going to be SUPER duper busy again, but it's totally going to be worth it. If you tell me I get to travel, and I'll spend next to nothing, I'll go. Doesn't matter what I have to do, I'll go tap dance on Elvis' grave if I get to go somewhere!

The rabbit keeps glaring at me and yawning, so I should probably get to bed. In addition to getting all of my school crap done, I still have some stuff in Katie's room, plus I have a little bit of stuff to do in my own room too. In a way, not having my laptop right now is a blessing in disguise. I have very few distractions at the ready!

~ Christine

every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end

Since I'm technically writing this on Saturday, I officially have one day left in Columbus. I'm a list-making type, as  you all know, so I'm going to express how I feel about this in a list.

The Good
- I'm tired of being around my family all the time. As much as I love them, I need my space sometimes, and this is one area that they never really understood.
- I'll be able to eat what I want, most importantly when I want! If I eat breakfast at 10, I won't want lunch at 11:30.
- I'll actually be able to do something (or several somethings) with this degree, as opposed to my Music degree. I loved being a musician, but it's not something I can do and make money off of.
- I need a fresh start. I've spent a lot of time in the last year wallowing, and I'm sick of it. I need to be with people who don't look at me and see a girl who turned into a self-absorbed, introverted, wacko last fall. I also need to practice conversation with people who don't immediately understand what I'm saying when I squawk a noise at them. Yes, I sometimes speak nonsense with my friends.
- I'll be back where I belong, at a school, and learning!

The Ugly
- I'm really going to miss my friends. I've gotten really used to automatically having friends in the past few years. I haven't had to make new friends in a long time, and I don't know if I know how to anymore. It's hard to compare with my friends. Even my UD friends trail behind my Watterson friends. It's nothing against them, but I've known some of my friends since I was 5 or 6. You can't trade that kind of history for anything. I'm starting to feel like I'm running out of room for new friends in my life.
- Kent State pales in comparison to UD. When I toured UD, it was freezing cold, pouring down rain, windy, and my umbrella broke. But I still managed to fall in love. When I toured Kent, it was freezing cold, snowing, and we found out about Papa's car accident (that I still believe was a factor in his death a few weeks later). And the whole time I kept thinking, "This just isn't as good, but it'll have to do." I feel like I'm divorcing the man of my dreams for an insurance salesman with bad breath and tacky suits.
- I've gotten really attached to having my family around. I've always been unusually close with my family, and if I could, I would live no more than 10 minutes away from them for the rest of my life. But let's face facts. The odds of that happening are slim to none. Even in the last two weeks since Katie's been gone, I've missed her so so SO much. I keep thinking that she's going to wander downstairs or she'll come dancing in the room, listening to her iPod and completely ignoring that we're staring at her like she's crazy. I'll be honest, I cried after she left. Specifically, I cried and snuggled with Rosie. Which brings me to my next point...
- I'm really going to miss Rosie. I'm an animal person, always have been, and I always will be. Animals like me, and I like them. Sometimes I like animals more than people because they don't have the unnecessary drama that us stupid humans like to cause. But this last year with Rosie has been so much fun. I know he's Katie's rabbit, but let's face it: during the school year, I was home a lot and Katie wasn't, and even when she was home, she had homework to do. So when it came to playtime, I spent a lot of time with Rosie. Plus, I've been through a lot since I moved back home. I'm pretty sure I've mentioned this at some other point, but after my Grandpa passed away, and again after my Papa passed away, playing with Rosie was the most helpful and therapeutic thing for me.  I remember talking to Bill after my Papa died, and I kept telling him that I wanted him to say something. I didn't know what, I just needed comforting. No matter what he said, I still felt unsatisfied. But spending time with Rosie helped me heal more than any person ever could. So when I'm up at Kent and I'm sad and lonely, I won't have an animal around to comfort me, or even to just distract me a little bit from what's bothering me.


Okay, I realize that the bad outweighs the good in space, but there's one more good point than there is bad point.  Let's just call this for what it is: I hate change. I don't do well with change. But this is just something I'm going to have to do. I think I'll like it when I spend more time in Kent, but for right now, I'm cautious. I'm trying to not pass judgment, or compare Kent to UD or Watterson, but I can't help but make little comparisons in my mind. I just hope that I find some sort of happiness in all of this.

~ Christine

girl with one eye

I'm getting more than a little bit tired of the wacked-out dreams I've been having lately. Last night's edition involved me going to a farm to look at baby bunnies, but instead of looking like typical bunnies, their fur was replaced by this weird looking material that can only be described as a cilia pillow. Supposedly once they grew up their regular fur came in, but I didn't want to take that chance, so then I had to awkwardly leave the farm. Aside from the baby bunnies, it wasn't as bizarre as some of the other dreams I've been having lately, but it still made me uncomfortable.

Woah. I got super tired suddenly. I'll make this short.

I went back to the doctor today. My blood pressure has been "awesome" as my doctor said, and everything from my tests last week came back normal, except for a high level of potassium. So that could be causing the headaches. Or it's a sinus headache after all. When she looked at my sinuses today they were really inflamed, but not infected. So I have a nasal spray to try out now, and of course they did more blood work to check my potassium. Blah. I'm so over this. I just want to be healthy for more than a week at a time.

Happy 82nd birthday to my fabulous Grandma!

~ Christine

there's a drumming noise inside my head whenever you're around

I had a really screwy dream last night. I had a dream that I went to Bill's apartment to get my stuff back, and Laura had moved in with him, kind of. It was more of an unofficial thing, like how I essentially moved in the first summer we were dating, but a lot of my stuff was still in my room in Stuart. Anyway, I tried to talk to Bill about when I could get my stuff back, and Laura kept interrupting me with the stupidest stuff. I wanted to smack her. First of all, I just wanted to get out of there as fast as possible, and if she kept interrupting me, then that just prolonged my visit. Plus, I could tell she wanted me out of there too, probably so she could go back to sleeping all day long. Anyway, Bill was really rude to me, and he wouldn't give me a straight answer. Finally, I had to scream at him that the computer was mine and if he wasn't going to give it back I would have to go to the police. Then he threw me up against the wall and held me there by my neck. I was so terrified! In the time we dated, Bill would get mad sometimes, and it always bothered me a bit, but he never EVER was violent to me. He would usually go off by himself if he was upset with me (which led to the time that I had to drive from UD to the Graeter's in Oakwood to pick him up in a huge thunderstorm... not fun) or if he was upset with something else (usually soccer or Laura) he would sulk. But he never did anything violent towards me. So there I am, dangling, and Laura announces that she's going to take a shower. Awkward. Whatever. It's not like I expected the bitch to help me out, but in times of crisis, what happened to sister solidarity? Bill realized that he was starting to choke me, and he let me down. Then he walked into his room, and I followed, assuming that now I would get my computer back. Instead he pulled out of a box of notes that Laura had written him when they had dated while she was in high school and he started kissing the paper. It was really weird. Then he pulled out a box of mementos from when we dated and he started ripping them up. That really bothered me. So I yelled at him to stop, but he couldn't hear me. So I'm upset, Bill's ripping up stuff, and Laura's still showering. At this point, I just want to leave. I head to the door and Bill calls out for me to come back. Then Laura emerges from the shower and Bill kicks her out for the rest of the day. I'm not really sure why. He claims that she's late for work, but I don't understand why should would have a job in Vandalia when she's in school in Akron. Then Bill takes me by the hand and sits me down on the couch. He asks me to stay the night, and I don't say anything for a long time. Finally, I look at him and I ask him if he's had sex with Laura. He doesn't say anything, but he looks sheepish. So I get up and leave. Then I woke up.

I'm nobody's sloppy seconds. I really hate myself for having this kind of a dream. I just don't know what brought it on. I'm so much happier with myself now, and everyone can see it. My grandma told me last week when I visited her to pick up her bird that she has seen a huge change in me in the last few months. I'm finally happy with myself. I have a direction in my life, and it's something I chose for me, not because it makes someone else happy. So what's the deal? Why can't my subconscious just let go?

In other news, my blood pressure has been normal every day since my appointment last week. So as long as my bloodwork comes back okay, I'm hopeful that there's nothing wrong with me. My headache finally went away yesterday, thanks to a lot of sleep! But today I have a lot of pressure behind my eyes and in the bridge of my nose. I swear, there's something up with my sinuses.

I've been obsessing over bunnies recently. I spent a good portion of an afternoon reading all of the articles on the House Rabbit Society's website, and yesterday at Border's I impulsively bought the second edition of Rabbits for Dummies. I've even picked out a breed I would like, and I picked out a name, but that's a secret until I actually get a bunny. I did the responsible adult thing and I made an Excel spreadsheet of costs and expenses. I've decided I want to try to find a shelter bunny as opposed to going to a breeder. Shelters spay and neuter their bunnies automatically (bunnies can start reproducing as early as 4 months old!) so that would be a cost that I wouldn't have to deal with down the road. Plus, I wouldn't run the risk of losing my bunny in surgery, like my friend Jacki's bunny. The only problem with a shelter bunny is that many shelters require proof from where you're living that you can have a rabbit, or they require a home visit. I suppose I could lie and say that the bunny would live at my parent's house... because next summer it probably would. But I feel bad about lying. And once I get to my apartment at Kent, I'm going to have to investigate the likelihood of smuggling in an animal. I miss living in a house at UD. Having a zoo there was so easy! In any case, I'm not going to get a rabbit until the following things happen:

1. I save up enough money to buy all of the supplies on my list, including toys, food, etc.
2. I find a suitable way to sneak the rabbit in. The last thing I want is to get a rabbit and then have to send the poor thing to live with my parents.
3. Bandcoming is over. There's no point in getting a bunny and then leaving for a weekend of drunken debauchery.

Ew. When did I turn into an adult?

~ Christine

let's all take a deep breath

When I'm wrong, I can admit it. Sometimes. Okay, rarely. But this time I'll admit it: I was wrong. I do not have a sinus infection like I thought. Instead, my doctor thinks that I might have hypertension AKA high blood pressure. Awesome.

To be perfectly honest, I'm not surprised. In the last few months, I've noticed on the few occasions that I've made it to the gym that my heart rate has been higher than normal, and higher than what's considered healthy. But I'm a stupid bitch and I kept going because how are you supposed to lose weight and effectively lower your heart rate and blood pressure without alcohol? Welp, that was a bad move apparently. The headaches I've been battling the last few days are either caused by the hypertension or the pain from the headaches is what's causing the hypertension. I don't know which option is worse. In the first option, I have an answer, but it's not a great one. And in the second option, I have an answer for the hypertension, but not for the headaches, which given my family's history, could be a gamut of things from migraines to intercranial hypertension.

I'll be frank. (You can be Denise! Hahaha...) I have my bets on that it's the first option. I know I'm overweight. I know I haven't eaten well. I know I drank too much occasionally in college. I just always assumed that you get a few more mulligans before the big time consequences come into play. I really have been trying to lose weight and exercise more, but when I get out of a routine it's really hard for me to get back into one. Let's take a look at my summer/spring in reverse: I've been sick. I was on vacation. I was exhausted and super jet lagged from the Western Trip. I was on the Western Trip. I worked out for like a week. I had Katie's graduation. I worked full-time for a month. I worked out for like two weeks. I was sick. I was on the Eastern Trip. I worked out for like another 2 weeks. I had my birthday. You can't get much more irregular than that. My life needs a healthy dose of Activia.

Anyway, I've spent my afternoon and evening doing some research. (Some of it was plane tickets for my Mom and Grandma to fly to Tante Vina's funeral, which I love looking up ticket prices!) Apparently there's a third option. I could have what's known as white coat hypertension, which is basically that the concept of the doctor's office stresses me out so much that it causes my blood pressure to rise. This would be nice. I wouldn't have serious hypertension, but I still wouldn't have a solution to my headaches. However, I doubt this. I was completely relaxed about this appointment because I really thought it was just a sinus infection. I know it sounds weird, but I actually really like having my blood pressure taken. I'm strange, I know, but when the cuff squeezes my arm really tight, it feels good, even though it kinda hurts. Whatever. I can be masochistic.

So the next step is to monitor my blood pressure for the next week and see what's going on. I had blood work done today to make sure there's nothing wrong with my kidneys or anything. Apparently it's really unusual to have a physical sign of hypertension, such as a headache, and if you have a sign, it can be an indication that there's something else wrong, such as kidney failure. Lovely, right?

Personally, if I do in fact have hypertension, I want to try to correct this without medicine. I've been reading about blood pressure medicine and they all sound scary. Oh, and did you know that a possible side effect of taking certain types of birth control (like the kind I take...) can be high blood pressure? Of course, that's not normally an issue unless you're over the age of 35 (nope) or if you smoke (really nope!). One thing's for sure: I cannot function without my birth control. Seriously. I become a whiny blob one week in four without it. I literally cannot move or do ANYTHING. It's awful. Sometimes I think that everyone should just be a boy, and then I remember that I'm prettier and smarter and I change my mind again. Anyway, I want to try the diet and exercise route first before we start messing around with drugs. For one thing, it's cheaper, and I still don't have health insurance until September. Plus, I need to lose weight anyway. My doctor is a stick in a lab coat. I bet she weighs 85 pounds, not even kidding. I'm thinking she knows something about weight loss that I don't, so at my follow-up appointment next week, I'm going to ask her about that.

Did you know that people who own animals, especially dogs, are much less likely to develop hypertension?Being around animals naturally relaxes people. This is why many hospices will have a calm dog around for the patients and families. Plus, dogs require walking. Being active, and in turn weighing less, helps keep your blood pressure down. It's a winning situation! I've been wanting a dog or a pet for awhile. I know I couldn't pull off a dog in my building this year, but I may try another pet. Fish are lame (sorry Bubba, may you rest in peace) and I don't find them relaxing. I loved my gerbils, even though they were incestuous lesbians. I'm seriously considering a guinea pig. I really want a rabbit too. I love spending time with Rosie. It's odd in a way, but every time that someone in my family has died in the last year, Rosie has been the most calming influence. I remember the day after the night Papa passed away when my family sat in the family room and we played with Rosie for over an hour and a half. And he/she just put up with it. It's like they know that their humans are hurting. I'll be honest, after the doctor this morning, today has not been a great day for me. WebMd is both helpful and hurtful. So I've played with Rosie a little more than usual. And even though my sister has chastised me for playing the "Bun Bun Bunny Bun" video for Rosie (twice), it's really calmed me down. Kent State can't argue if an animal is therapeutic, right?

Anyway, if you're the praying type, or even if you just like to think good thoughts towards people, I'd like to ask if you could think/pray for me. I'm hoping that this is nothing and not something, but in case it is something, I'd like to know that I have people on my side.

~ Christine

I'm not cocky, I just love myself... BITCH

- Sometimes when I stumble, I listen to Christina Aguilera and I feel instantly better about myself.
- The "Bun Bun Bunny Bun" video never fails to make me smile. Ditto for "Shopping Penguin".
- The website I used last summer and fall to watch back episodes of NCIS and Army Wives no longer links to active websites that host videos... at least not in the US. Not even Megavideo. Damn government. I mean, I get it and all, but there needs to be more showings of TV shows on air currently. USA replays the same group of about 60 episodes of NCIS. Not cool.
- I'm still waiting for the season 8 season pass of NCIS to come out on iTunes. Like hell am I going to pay over $50 at the end of the season!
- I have had a constant headache all day. Usually I'm the girl who's begging for the TV to be louder, and for once I was the one who would steal the remote and turn the volume down. I'm being forced into going to the doctor tomorrow without insurance. Thanks parents (and I mean that genuinely. I take crappy care of myself sometimes)!
- We got a phone call about an hour ago (from Boeing, which threw me for a loop) from my cousin Joe, telling us that our Tante Vina had passed away about an hour ago. For anyone who cares, Tante Vina was my Uncle Joe's first wife. He was the one who passed away when I was in Europe and my family didn't tell me until several days after I got home. Anyway, I haven't seen Tante Vina in years. She's been sick, and everytime there was a memorial service for my Uncle Joe, I couldn't make it. But she's always stayed in touch with my family, especially my Grandma, and she always sent us cards and little gifts for our birthdays and graduations. August as a month in general is just a shitty month. NO ONE ELSE IS ALLOWED TO DIE IN AUGUST. EVER.
- Oh wow... I'm starting to feel sleepy. I'm going to take advantage of this rare opportunity and say goodnight!

~ Christine

angryface

How ironic. My last words from my last entry were, "I gotta be freeeeeee!" and that night I broke up with Bill.

I'm not going to go into details because if I think you're deserving of them, chances are you already know. And if you think you're deserving of them, and I haven't told you, message me on Facebook or something.

Anyway, life goes on. My toe is almost completely healed, thank goodness. I get to keep all 10 of my toenails, although I can't paint them yet. Bummer. My feet look weird without any polish. Oh well, I'm just happy to have my toe getting better. I'm hoping that this was the last foot incident of the year, although it's only April, and I've already had a problem with both of my feet. I have a terrible track record.

Easter was weird this year, but to be honest, I don't really count anything as normal anymore. There have been too many changes in my life in the last year for me to treat it as a reliable source of stability. I'm okay with it being unpredictable because it makes things interesting, but at the same time, I need some constants too! The one thing I missed a lot this year was getting chocolates from a store in Pittsburgh called Catoris Candies. Every year, we got a variety of bunnies and chickens from there and they are the BEST Easter candy makers, in my opinion. I may see if I can order some online, once I get money again. Also, the absence of Cadbury eggs was a downer too. But those I can get anywhere.

Monday was a very important holiday in our family: Rosie's first birthday! It's weird... if you would have told me a year ago that I would become very emotionally attached to a pet rabbit, I probably would have laughed at you. But Rosie is really like a 6th person in our family, largely because of his snarky personality. Also, the fact that he's adorable helps too. We didn't have a ragin' b-day bash like Katie and I wanted, but we did sing 'Happy Birthday' to him... twice. He also got a large portion of yogurt drops (his favorite snack!) and excessive playtime. I'll post pictures on Facebook.

Today, I've been angry. I've been angry because I don't have a right to be angry. When you're dumped, you get together with your girlies, get drunk, and bitch and moan about the man who wronged you! But when you're the one doing the dumping, you kinda lose that right. I can't blame this on anyone but myself. He didn't hurt me, I hurt me. So now I'm angry at myself, and I'm angry at the world for making me feel like I can't be angry. I biked for awhile at the gym this morning, and that helped me a little this morning, but then this afternoon I watched Mulan 2 and somehow that has set me off again. And now I'm taking my anger out on other people. Schmastastic. Watch out world, the bitch is on the loose!

~Christine

Rosie... or Ross?

Tonight I had three choices. I could either:

A. Continue my latest family on The Sims 3. I'm running an experiment of sorts where I let the family do whatever they want. I don't tell them to do a single thing, unless plumbing needs to be fixed. Other than that, they do what they want.

B. Watch the special features on my brand new (to me) season 1 of NCIS DVD!

C. Blog because I'm a lazy bitch who fails to update on a regular basis.

Since you're reading this, I obviously chose C. But after I'm done, I'm probably going to watch NCIS. And I didn't have time to get into TS3 tonight by the time I got off the phone with Bill, fed my fake fish on Facebook, and Twitter-stalked. I have to get up early (for me) tomorrow, so I can't be up super late tonight. Womp womp.

For anyone who cares to know, my medical issues are better and probably not as bad as I thought initially so yay! Still broke, still not really sure how I'm going to afford everything, but I'm starting to calm down a little. Except that my heart palpitations have started AGAIN. I've had them on and off since my freshman year of high school, and they get worse when I'm stressed. Except that as I pointed out to my mom earlier, I'm far less stressed now than I was a couple of weeks ago. Being snowed in with your boyfriend will do that to you. And my blood pressure was a little high at the doctor's office today, but I'm chalking that up to nerves. But I'm happy now, I swear!

Let's see... I was going to nag you all to ask me questions on the widget to the right, but I logged on and apparently the website is undergoing maintenance right now. Whatevs. It'll be up again by the time you read this, I bet you a pickle.

Um, I realize that the whole black background/white letter thing is hard to read, but I'm too lazy to change the colors on everything. I guess I'm weird because I would rather see a dark screen with light letters. The fanfiction I write for (sometimes...) has an option to change how you see the text in stories and I always switch it to the dark background setting when I'm reading. Like I said, I'm weird. But I'm weird with better than perfect vision, so I must be doing something right!

In other news, it would appear that Rosie the rabbit has grown a penis. She didn't have one a few weeks ago, and now she does. She's very sexually attracted to arms, specifically my mom's and mine. (S)he also likes ALL of Mike, to the point where (s)he bit his nipple last week. Anywho, through all her desperate and futile humping, we've been able to see that yes, Rosie has what appears to be a rabbit penis. I guarantee you that it wasn't there a few weeks ago the last time she was in heat. Can rabbits do that? The vet even said that she was a girl last June when she was sicklies. So she's going back to the vet to have a checkup and get her nails done (so that when she latches onto us for her humping sesh, we don't bleed anymore) and hopefully we can have a gender check done again. I legitimately feel bad for her/him. I wonder what she thinks she's getting out of this. Obviously we are not bunnies with opposite parts, so she must realize that she's not getting any jollies today. I've heard that dogs hump to show dominance, but Rosie's humping doesn't sound like a dominance noise. Normally domination doesn't involve moaning. Well, maybe it does. But not always. And seriously, if the rabbit hasn't figured out yet that we are at her every beck and call, she never will. To say that Rosie is spoiled rotten is a giant understatement. She's a rabbit and she got almost as many Christmas presents as I did. Maybe we should have gotten her a little dominatrix outfit.

I joined Weight Watchers (again) last Wednesday! So far, so good. In fact, in my first week I've lost 5.6 pounds. Normally losing that much weight in one week isn't healthy, but because I'm just starting out, it's normal. I really hope that I can make some good changes this time around because I'm kind of tired of being a fatass.

Yup, that's all I have. Honestly I've been thinking about watching NCIS this whole time and now I completely forget all of the quirky things I was going to write about. Damn.

~Christine

IT'S THE BATTLE OF GOOD VS. EVIL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

I seem to be falling into a pattern of blogging once a week. Oh well, better than nothing!



I'm trying to make a conscious effort to be a more positive person. They live longer, and no one actually likes a Debbie Downer. Of course, this is a gradual process, so I'm going to make a good thing/bad thing list. Maybe in another week (when I will theoretically write again) I'll be making a good thing list!



Good: I went to the eye doctor yesterday and I was told that I won't need glasses until my mid-40's. All those years of eating carrots in my lunch has paid off!

Bad: I have other health issues that I have to deal with by the end of the month, but they're more personal/serious than my eyes, so I'm not going into details. Sorry, I'm a cock-tease.



Good: I cleaned out the pathway in front of my closet! It took my mom and I about three hours, but it's worth it because now I can actually put away some more clothes! No more living out of laundry baskets and hampers!

Bad: The rest of my room is still a wreck, and I can't open the far side of my closet. I'm not sure what's in the way of the door, but it's going to make clearing out the worst part of my closet very hard.



Good: I'm visiting Dayton/UD/Billfriend this weekend! I haven't been back to Dayton in ages, and I really miss it and my friends. Of course, seeing Bill at somewhere that isn't a funeral will be nice too. Provided that he cleans his apartment, wink wink. I know, I'm a hypocrite, but when I was at school, I usually kept things pretty clean! I've gotten better about purging, but unfortunately I had a lot of years at home where I wasn't so good about that.

Bad: With the weather being so crappy, I'm really hoping that I'll actually be able to make the trip. Like hell am I risking my life on the road. One ice-related car accident was more than enough for my lifetime!



Good: Only 6 months until grad school! I've officially survived living at home for 6 months and now I only have 6 months to go!

Bad: There was a brief period this week where I very desperately wanted to go the University of Alabama for grad school, but unfortunately I was too late to come up with that idea. Kent State doesn't require a GRE if your GPA for undergrad was higher than a 3.0, so I didn't need to take it. Most places require a GRE score even if you got a 4.0 in undergrad, so by not taking the GRE, I really limited myself with where I could go. Back in November, it wasn't a big deal because I didn't want to leave Ohio and my family. Now that the snow is here, I want nothing more than to get out of here and never look back. If I wanted to go to UA and get financial aid, I would have had to submit my entire application (GRE scores and letters of reference included!) by February 15th. Not gonna happen.



This next one makes more sense if I reverse the order.



Bad: I am broke, broke, broke. Babysitting is really lagging because of the weather, and by visiting the boyfriend for Valentine's Day, I won't be able to babysit while other couples are going out for the holiday. Our internet connection at home is getting worse, so I haven't been ChaCha-ing much either. I may be suffering from a bout of ChaCha burnout as well. Answering 15,000 questions a day about penises, pregnancy, or being called all sorts of racial slurs is tiring, and it's gotten old really fast. Plus, my family never did get the drift that I was working and therefore not to be disturbed. Hopefully once my room is clean and I have a desk that's functional, I can work upstairs more, where the internet is better and the world is quieter.

Good: Okay, so the 'Bad' got really off-track. But the point is that I have no money. HOWEVER, since I have no money, when I filled out my FAFSA for grad school the other day, my Expected Family Contribution was.... $0! I'm doing grad school 100% on my own, so the mountains of money that my dad makes as a cop (HAHAHAHA) won't affect me at all. I have less than $200 to my name right now, so hopefully KSU will see that and give me grants/scholarships. Of course, any money would be nice, but thanks to the money pit that is the University of Dayton, I already have tons of debt to pay off someday when I grow up. I don't need more of that. But again, anything would be nice.



Well this has been fun. Kinda.



In other news, I've signed up for yet another fun online thing! It's called formspring, and you can have people ask you questions, and you answer them. I posted it on my Facebook and Twitter the other day when I signed up, but since then no one's asked me anything. So I posted a little widget thing on the side of my blog so if you have any questions, you can just send it to me from here! Isn't that nifty? Oh, and in case the widget goes crap, here's a link to my profile where you can also ask me things, and you can see what other people have asked. (which hasn't been much). So, GO ASK ME THINGS! I promise, I will answer anything.



http://www.formspring.me/flyergrad09



I want to put in a pretty picture or something to make this post more attractive. OOOH!

Everyone loves the bunny! Night!

EDIT: I've added a list of fun links on the sidebar thingy too since I removed the Twitter thing. I've made my tweets private now, so I can't have that app. I hope this is a fair trade! Night again!

~Christine

I gotta get outta this place...

I wasn't planning on writing anything tonight, but Megavideo seems to be convinced that I've already watched 82 minutes of video today when I haven't, so I can't watch the next episode of Army Wives. Which gives me 53 minutes to write. Blah. And by the time I can watch something, I bet I'll be too tired to watch it. Damn. I would just download the episodes on iTunes, but for some unknown reason iTunes still has season 3 listed as a season pass, which puts it at a whopping $47. No thank you! I be poor.

I worked out again today. Hooray! I'm going to make a bigger effort to get to the gym on a regular basis. My mom has set a goal for me to lose five pounds a month. It doesn't seem like much, but in a year, that's 60 pounds... if I can stick with it. I'm hopeful, but at the same time I'm already expecting failure from myself because when it comes to weight loss, I tend to do a better job of gaining weight than losing it.

We finally got around to activating Home Sharing on iTunes this past weekend. So I got some new music from my brother's iTunes. I got about 140 songs and a few TV shows. Oh, and the movie Stepbrothers. He originally had 1200 songs set up to download, but only about 700 went through.

Oh no. Now I'm going to have "Marco Polo" stuck in my head. I know Bow Wow is from Cbus and all.. but REALLY. How the hell did he turn a childhood pool game into something sexual?

42 minutes to go...

I started a fanfic about McGee not understand The Sound of Music a long time ago, but I never finished it. I also haven't published the first story I wrote that I waited over a month for Katie to edit. Hm. Maybe I should work on that.

Well, my family is officially not going to Disney at Christmas this year. I was hopeful because it seemed like my mom was really on board with the idea, but my Debbie Downer dad brought up the money issue, so now we're not going. I'm super bummbed because I really need to get the hell out of Ohio. I have not done nearly enough traveling to satisfy me. Pretty much the only thing I have to look forward to is the Eastern Trip (which I'm chaperoning again - yay!) but that's not until March. I may explode before then. I need sunshine. I need warm weather. And I need Mickey Mouse. Okay, well maybe not the last bit. But someone cute who always has a smile on their face would be nice.

Oh yes, and I'm back on the "I want a dog" kick. I'm applying to work at a few pet stores in the area and just walking into the stores today made me want to get a puppy. I know they're a lot of work, but as I pointed out to my mom earlier, if I had a dog I would HAVE to exercise everyday because doggies need to be walked. Really, any cuddly animal would do. Rosie's a fabulous bunny (as seen by the 3,424,325 pictures of her I've taken recently) but she's technically not mine, she's Katie's.

"Thunderstruck" just came on. Now I'm thirsty and I want to go to the Fieldhouse. Which reminds me, at one point in my mental breakdown last night, I burst out into tears because I missed UD. They don't prepare you for that one during freshman orientation... just saying.

33 more minutes.

I do believe I tweeted about this fairly recently, but I'm completely in love with the Jay-Z/Linkin Park mashups I got from Mike. I'm not sure who came up with the idea to combine the two, but they are a musical genius. And I have a BA in music, so I feel justified in saying that.

I just rewatched the men of NCIS jibjab video I made a few weeks ago. It never fails to make me smile.

18 minutes... maybe I'll play Airport Mania for a bit.

If anyone's seen my life, please let me know. I want it back.

~Christine

Side Note: HOLY MACKREL! Look at all the labels that applied to this post! I'm so random.

don't judge me, I'm only human! - Chandler Bing

I did it! I posted my second story! This one has a fun backstory too.

Two days ago, I found a link to an article in someone's profile on the fanfiction site that I write for. I was curious, so I clicked on it. Here is that article:

http://christwire.org/2009/10/is-ncis-the-worst-television-show-ever-made/

Yup. Ultra-conservative, "Christian" smut bashing one of the most popular television shows out there today. Not only is the article extremely biased and factually inaccurate, but the author is rude and disrespectful to the people who leave comments pointing out the error of his ways. He is homophobic, sexist, and racist, even going so far as to call a reader "clueless" because he is Scottish. Naturally, I commented on the article. However, Katie and I have decided that any comment that appears to be grammatically correct and intelligent, the author doesn't comment on. Probably because he's intimidated.

Then last night, I was struck with a fantastic idea. I've read stories before where the characters of NCIS discover fanfiction websites. So why not write a story where the characters find this terrible article? I did, and published it this morning! Here's the link:

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5442181/1/Retaliation

Please leave a comment if you read it. You don't even have to register with the site to leave me some love!

Oh, and while I was bunny-sitting yesterday, I took loads of pictures and videos of Rosie. I'm gonna be a proud bunny aunt and show you my favorite... drumroll please!

Between playing with a baby bunny most of the day yesterday, and then watching the Duggar grandbaby, I am all about the squishy babies right now.

Yup. I'm completely distracted by Friends right now. So peace out.

~Christine

adventures in bunny-sitting

A series of unfortunate events has led me to where I am right now, which is sitting on our family room floor with my sister's rabbit, Rosie, in a laundry basket next to me.

1. I don't have to work today - hooray!
2. I believe I ate something yucky at Bob Evans yesterday, leaving me with a tummyache today and zero desire to do anything.
3. Back in August, we called the asphalt guys to come out and resurface our driveway. Guess when they finally decided to show up! Today!
4. It's cold out, even for bunnies. So we moved Rosie into the garage for winter a few days ago.
5. Outside our garage is our driveway (duh) which now smells very strongly of fresh asphalt. The smell wafted into our garage, which is now Rosie's home. So we've moved her inside so the smell doesn't bother her.

So here I am, hanging out with my bunny-niece. She's pretty freaking adorable. I've already taken lots of pictures, and a vew videos too. She started licking me earlier, so I grabbed my videocamera with my free hand (unfortunately it was my left) and started filming.

What does it mean when a bunny licks your hand? She seems to be getting a big kick out of this!

Ahhh, too distracted to keep writing... I'll probably write another NCIS entry tonight.

~Christine