Hello? Is anybody out there?

So, does anyone else feel the same way I do about Blogger? That it might be going the way of Xanga and LiveJournal? I don't know, it just doesn't seem like there's the community here that there once was. Maybe it's because most of the blogs I follow have become more sporadic in posting, which doesn't encourage me to post more often. I don't really know what to say anymore either. Most of the bitches in my life are gone, or I don't feel comfortable writing about them online anymore. Either way, no one likes a whiner, and that's basically what this blog has turned into.

I'm listening to "Welcome to the Machine" currently, and it's making me wish that there was a bootleg copy of the video that plays in Space at COSI somewhere online, but if there is, I can't find it. Quality stuff, although the cartoons of the astronaut blowing up when his suit depressurizes is disturbing. Equally upsetting is the footage of the Challenger explosion. Have they added in the Columbia news footage? It's been eight years (!) now, I think it should be included if it isn't already. Well, now that I'm rambling about things that are little or no interest to most people in the world, I think I'll get to bed. Peace out!

~Christine

herp derp I'm a bad blogger

I have no good reasons for not blogging. Except that I'm lazy and I've been busy.

Here's the short and narrow:

- Alabama is great, but hot all the time.
- I love books, especially weird train books.
- Canada was nice and cool, and almost all of the Canadians were super nice. Of course they were nice, they got our taxes on all of the super expensive Canadian stuff we got.
- Just kidding. Canadians are awesome, but I really do think they might be afraid of the dark.
- This is not new news, but I am absolutely terrible at "casual dating." Seriously, I wish people just courted and then got married. Bam! None of this sketchy pseudo-casual crap. Also, I get jealous easily and I hate that I do, but at the same time I don't know how to not be a crazy jealous bitch. Again, nothing new. GAH.

Alrighty then. Good talk.

*runs back to tumblr*

~ Christine

sprinkle some seasoning

Hold on to your panties, I'm posting two days in a row!

I don't have any one large topic to write about, but I do have a variety of little musings.

It just dawned on me that THE end of Harry Potter will happen this July. At least when the last book came out, we still had a couple more movies left. This is it. I was so sad when the books ended, so I'm scared to think how sad I'll be when it's all over.

I finally got the heat going in my apartment. All those times that I turned on the wall units and it blew out cold air, I should have just left it on for awhile because now it's toasty in here. Huzzah!

The clunk in my refrigerator has returned. When I stayed here one night a week and a half ago, I never heard it clunk, so I assumed that they fixed it over break. Maybe they did, but it didn't stick around.

I have my interview for an assistantship tomorrow. I'm not nervous, but it just dawned on me that the last time I had a job interview was last February, so maybe I should be a little nervous.

I don't what it is about me, but I'm attracting all of the wrong guys on OkCupid. They're all short rednecks with missing teeth and children. Believe me, I have nothing against children, but I don't want to be someone's stepmother, at least not in my 20's. I think my profile is pretty kickass, but maybe it's not. I don't know, maybe I should message more guys first. I sent out a message a few days ago to one guy, but I haven't heard anything back yet. Maybe I'm being too picky, but I'm only going to message a guy if he's really special. I need a Yente. Or Patti Stanger.

Oh, but if you read this and you're a friend of mine in real life and you want to do a homegirl a favor, I would be ecstatic if you wanted to review my profile for me. Just let me know and I'll send you the link.

The Kardashians are distracting me... but I'm really glad Kourtney finally told Scott that his outfit makes no sense.

~ Christine

I dream of B.D. Wong

It's been awhile since I've had a crack dream. Or at least it's been awhile since I've blogged about a crack dream.

Last night's edition was a flashback to my high school days. I was getting ready for school in the morning (read: it was pitch black outside) and two guys came to my house, saying that they needed to install a software update on our computer. I was confused, but before I had a chance to say no, they sat down at the home computer, which was on the front porch, and installed some program. Right after they installed it, I realized they were up to no good, and checked to see what they did. Lo and behold, they had installed a worm that destroyed everything on all of our computers, and everything on all of the Worthington Police Department computers too. Naturally, I flipped out and called the cops. The evil computer guys didn't even try to escape; they just knew they had been caught. I was so embarrassed when the cops showed up that I had let these two idiots destroy everything, and I ran upstairs to hide in my bedroom.

I looked out of my bedroom window, and there was a swarm of cops on our front porch and lawn. One of them was B.D. Wong! For anyone who's lived in a vacuum, or anyone who doesn't like cop shows, he's an actor on Law & Order: SVU. Exhibit A:

Anyway, B.D. Wong had been given the task of changing all of our usernames and passwords, in case the evil computer guys had found a way to steal those and break into our email accounts. He gave me a piece of paper with all of our new information, and for a second, I thought we had been given new identities. Anyway, he made me feel less guilty about letting those guys install the worm, and he brought up the good point that it was my parents' fault for putting our computer on the front porch.

I now *heart* B.D. Wong!

~ Christine

check it off!

Christmas Break Goals:

- Go to Florida

- Get concussion

- Develop unexplainable ailment

- Celebrate a Christmas that's infinitely better than last year

- Watch The Big Bang Theory

- Suffer verbal abuse from family members

- Burn finger on hair straightener

- Apply for internships

- Work on project

- Buy books for next semester

Clearly, I've covered all of the important parts of break already. It would be unfair to say that my break hasn't been super awesome, because parts of it have been amazing, but other parts have been a smidge sucky. At least I haven't been harassed about my weight yet, right? 

A few weeks back when I was debating if I should transfer to Kent SLIS Columbus or not, I couldn't accurately explain why I wasn't keen on the idea. I tend to forget when I'm away from home for awhile that after about a week of being here, I go stir crazy (or just crazy) and I want to be on my own again. Now I can justify my thoughts behind staying in Kent for my second year of grad school. As much as I love my family, once I've tasted freedom, it's hard for me to go back. I don't know how I survived a whole year last year. Don't get me wrong, there have been some really awesome and fun times, and I really miss being at home when I'm away. But I can't be at home and be 100% happy. I'm not completely happy in Kent either, but I'm at least in my own space. I'm a very territorial person, and I like things to be my way. It drives me crazy that when I'm here, I can't ever feel like I can relax and have a lazy day where I don't have to do anything, because as soon as that thought crosses my mind, I have some errand to run. 

One of my goals for the past nine months has been to be selfish and put myself first. I've done a very good job of that. It's a little scary, actually. My mean streak is starting to come out again, but when I'm by myself, it's not a problem. I just don't give a damn about a lot of people anymore. People that I really should still care about, but if they're idiots, or cruel to me, or just irritating, I don't think twice about writing them off. When I'm at home, I'm forced to think about other people and work as a family, and it's kind of a struggle for me. I like being able to have my own space where I don't have to be bothered by other people. The hermit lifestyle suits me well, at least some of the time.

New topic: My love of nerds.

This isn't anything new. I'm fairly nerdy myself, and I really hate stupid people, so nerds and I get along well. What I wasn't expecting was to become sucked into a show about nerds. Yup. I'm talking about The Big Bang Theory. It's my new addiction. I guess it shouldn't be too surprising, considering this is me. What is surprising is that I think I was the last person in my family to get hooked on it, including my parents. I'm usually late to the party when it comes to TV shows, but I usually have the advantage over someone in my family. It always makes me wonder when I come across a show I love where I was for the last x amount of years when it was airing originally. Oh well. TBBT is nerdy and delicious, just how I like it.

~ Christine

I haven't panicked in a day, so this is overdue

Today was a very, very long day. I can't even share half of the reasons why it was so long because I'm not entirely sure who reads this and who doesn't, but I'll share the other half.

I hate this damn InfoTech paper. I can't bring myself to concentrate on it for more than 30 minutes at a time. I really REALLY hate APA, and I hate that I'm probably going to awful on it because my professor is a hardass. Also, I just noticed tonight that the grading rubric has very little to do with content. Awesome. I hate it when professors think they can get away with barely reading the papers that us students spend hours writing. I'm just ready for it to be over with, but I'm making no progress on it at all.

I'm extremely worried about Tony and Ziva. They've been fighting more and more again in the past week, and I really don't want to separate them. I tried to separate them earlier tonight for a few minutes to see if it would cool their jets a little bit, but when I did, they both looked around their cages for the other one. It was so sad! But now that I've put them back together, they're fighting again. I really don't know what to do, other than shank the lady at PetSmart who said it was 100% okay to house same gender pairs together. I wish you could have hamsters fixed, but it's too dangerous on their tiny genitals. I got hamsters because they were supposed to be an easy pet that could keep me company, and when I wasn't around, they could keep each other company! Boy was I wrong. I don't even have the space in this shithole of an apartment to store two aquariums, besides that I don't have the extra money to buy another aquarium, food dish, water bottle, and wheel. I could just get a cage divider, but that really cuts down on their space. They're super active hammies as it is. Maybe if I just got a bigger cage? But if that doesn't work, then I'm really screwed. Ugh. Help!

I don't know what happened to the old me. I spent all summer working on myself (internally) and by the time I started grad school (woah, that line took me back to the old 3-D show I worked in at Cosi!) I was really happy with who I was. I was perfectly content to be the spinster librarian that I was in school to become. Besides, the reality is that in a year and a half when I graduate, I really do have to be willing to be able to move anywhere. And most guys probably wouldn't sacrifice their established careers to follow their girlfriend. I know I'm generalizing, but let's face it: men make more than women STILL and they tend to be valued more in the workplace STILL. Who would want to give that up for some girl? Anyway, I fully intended on not dating during grad school. I only kept my OkCupid profile open to talk to guys because Kent is boring, and I wasn't about to prevent something from happening if it did happen. But I didn't pursue. 99.9% of the guys who messaged me were losers. They were short, hairy, toothless wankers with kids and an ex-wife, and I wanted nothing to do with them. So on the one occasion that a normal, decent human being messaged me, I messaged back.

And then he texted.
And then he called.
And wonder of wonders he asked me out.
And then he cancelled.
And then I freaked out.
And then he reassured me that he was still interested.
And then I laid low.
And he still texted.
And called.
And then he asked me out again.
And I had already made plans.
And then he asked me out again.
And I said sure.
And we had a fantastic time together.
And then he continued to text.
And call.
And then I started to wonder if we would actually see each other again.
And he told me we would see each other again before I left for Christmas.
And I didn't bring it up again.
And then I did.
And he didn't have a good reason for not asking me out again.
And then I got really upset.

Does anyone else see where I'm confused? For once in my life, I did the ladylike thing and let the guy do the pursuing, and for awhile, it seemed like it was a good plan. But when he ALWAYS called me or texted me first, why bother putting forth an effort to call or text him? Twice, I've made it to dinnertime without hearing anything all day. Once was today, once was last Saturday. So on those two days, I made the effort. I really don't understand what's happened here. This has been going on since September! I can't help but wonder what would have happened if we went out in October like we had originally planned. Even though I wasn't looking for anyone else, I feel like I've been wasting my time. Getting to know someone new is hard work, especially when you're used to everyone in your group of friends already knowing all about you. I'm invested now, and I don't like that I might have thrown my money away. I made a promise to myself last weekend that if he didn't ask me out again before I leave this Friday, that I wouldn't have any more contact with him. I promised this only because I didn't think it would actually happen. And now it might. More than likely, it will. The weekend's essentially over. And while I'm not opposed to going out during the week, he seems to be. So... now what? My brain is saying, "Let him go! It's never going to happen!" but my heart is saying, "You still like him, and he must still like you too, or else he wouldn't call and text as much as he does."

Of course, this is all happening on a day that's already been long and stressful and exhausting, so choosing tonight to bring this up probably wasn't my best idea, but I was hoping that I'd get some kind of closure so I could dedicate all parts of my brain to this paper. Silly me, I forgot that when you rely on other people, they will inevitably let you down.

~ Christine

And Now For A Film From The Year Of My Birth...

This is what's keeping me entertained tonight:

It's strange... I've never seen Mark Harmon talk so much in a role... or be such a slacker!

Since I last wrote there have been some big changes in my life. I bought two Chinese Dwarf Hamsters last week. They're absolutely adorable and I named them Tony and Ziva. They're both girls, but when I talk to Tony, I refer to him as a male. I just can't emasculate DiNozzo that much. Anyway, here's a picture of them:

They're still scared of me most of the time. Ziva's especially skittish. Tony's always the first one to come investigate if they're both hiding from me in their bedding. But I've been able to hold both of them for a few minutes at a time and they've both groomed themselves (which hamsters only do when they feel completely safe) while I'm holding them. 

I've also acquired 14 new movies, plus Pirate Radio (I bought it the first week I was here), and two seasons of Full House. When I went to UD for Bandcoming, Second Time Around got a lot of my business. Then last weekend, Hannah and I went to Five Below, which is a trendy dollar store up here, and they had a $5 movie section, which is where I found Summer School and Borat. I've never seen Borat, but I watched it last night. It was interesting, but I'm glad I only spent $5 on it. 

Jackie and Brenda are coming up to visit this weekend! I'm really excited. I only had friends from home visit me twice in undergrad, and both times were for WGI. Plus, I really miss my friends and having a halfway decent social life. We're going to see the special screening of Beauty and the Beast, and then that night we're going up to Case Western to see Katie in The Most Fabulous Story Ever Told aka The Gay and Lesbian Adam and Eve Story. Then the next day we're going to the Akron Art Museum for a bit before Jackie and Brenda go back to Columbus. It's not a long visit, but it's better than nothing, and I'll be back home a couple of weeks later for the Circleville Pumpkin Show. 

~ Christine

we're all related to Kevin Bacon

It's been a few days. Sorry about that. I've had a busy few days. Katie left for Case Western yesterday, and Mom's up there now for Puggle's orientation. Yesterday was Dustin's going away party too. I know change is inevitable, but I really really hate it. I want all of my friends to stay in one spot forever. Except that I'm ready to get out of Columbus. I just hate thinking that when I come back, they might not all be here. 

Last Thursday was Katie's going away cookout with her friends. They discovered that Katie has a hidden talent. She has a knack for connection two seemingly unconnected actors and actresses through TV shows and movies. They would give her two random actors and she would find a way that they're connected. Apparently this is a family trait because I discovered I have a talent for it as well. For example, Katie's friends said to connect Paul Rudd (actually, they said Mike from Friends) and Pauley Perrette (again, they said Abby from NCIS). Katie found a long rambling pathway between the two, which managed to involve Two of a Kind and Covert Affairs, so props for that! But I found a much shorter pathway.

Paul Rudd played Mike Hannigan in "Friends":

Paul Rudd also starred in the movie I Love You Man, along with Rashida Jones:

Rashida Jones also played Karen on "The Office": (I don't know why this picture won't center)

Also on "The Office" was Melora Hardin, portraying Jan Levinson (Gould):

And on the fifth episode of NCIS (The Curse), Melora Hardin guest starred as former Petty Office Erin Toner:

Therefore linking her to Pauley Perrette!

So while I was bored at church the other day (in my defense, we had the priest who you can't understand because he's a million years old and doesn't speak into the microphone), I was pondering the age-old debacle: How many degrees of separation are there between myself and Kevin Bacon?

I'm not entirely sure where this whole "Six degrees of separation from Kevin Bacon" thing came from, but it's kind of entertaining. Apparently there's a game, a charity, and a website all related to this concept. To be fair, my sister's an actor, so this was really easy for me. But look at it this way, if you know me, just tack yourself to the end of the chain!

How I am Connected to Kevin Bacon:

This is my sister, actress superior!

In 2006, Katie was in the Broadway Across America production of Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat (she was in the children's chorus). Starring in the role of Joseph was Patrick Cassidy:

Patrick Cassidy's mother is Shirley Jones, who played Marian the librarian in the 1962 movie version of The Music Man (one of my all-time favorites). During filming, Shirley Jones became pregnant with Patrick Cassidy:

Also starring in The Music Man was a young Ron Howard, who played Winthrop Paroo, Marian's younger brother (remember the kid with the lisp?):

Little Ronny Howard would go on to direct my absolute favorite movie ever, Apollo 13:

And of course, Kevin Bacon played the role of Jack Swigert in Apollo 13:

There you have it! I'm a mere five degrees away from Kevin Bacon. Isn't IMDB.com wonderful?

~ Christine

Some things I cannot change, but until I try, I'll never know!

Okay, so NOW I can tell you all why I didn't have a long entry yesterday! My former roommate, Hannah, celebrated her birthday today, and her husband, Alex, threw her a surprise party at their apartment in Cleveland. Since I've been having issues with my car (and really, what fun is it to drive 2 hours one way by yourself?) my friend Phil drove me up there, and I mistakenly thought he was coming to get me later. Whoops. So I spat out a teeny little entry, and now that I'm home and sober, I can write more.

First things first! I know it's been awhile, but my NAUGHTY HAIKU muse has spoken to me again, so I have a brand-spankin' (tee hee) poem for your reading pleasure today!

I was inspired by dirty hippies having sex in a sleeping bag at Woodstock.

After much deliberation, I have decided to re-activate my online dating profile. I had deactivated, and then reactivated, and basically I've been a yo-yo about the whole thing. Even if I don't meet anyone worthwhile, it's nice to get some attention. Yeah, I'm narcissistic, I know. But it's the truth! I read an article on one of my favorite websites, The Frisky, the other day called "Why Women On Dating Sites Don't Respond To Men" that basically confirmed what I've always suspected. Online dating is truly a woman's advantage. For whatever reason, we get much more attention than the guys do. So for me, this is perfect. I get lots of attention, and maybe once in awhile I'll get attention from someone I actually could be interested in. As opposed to real life where I give attention to guys who don't want it and guys who I don't want to give attention to me do.

I've been thinking a lot lately about filters. For one, I sometimes don't have one. As several of my closer friends will confirm, I will share just about anything, even sometimes if it's not entirely appropriate to do so. But at the same time, there are cases where my filter goes into overdrive and I say too little. It's a weird blend. I'm trying to adopt a policy where if you believe something, you have to say it. It's a lot scarier than it sounds. Somehow we've all become hardwired to be offended when people tell you the truth. If it's the truth, then what's wrong with it? If you spend any time talking to toddlers or especially preschoolers, they will tell it like it is! They haven't been told yet that sometimes you shouldn't tell people things. Like that Mommy said that Mother's Day was the worst day of her life (true story: my sister told another mom of a kid in her first grade class that once! Thankfully, the other mom didn't bring it up to my mom until Katie was in 8th grade). I'm not saying that you should go around harassing people and calling them fat and ugly, but we do have freedom of speech for a reason people!

~Christine

take a peek inside my brain while I'm watching NCIS!

On today's very special edition of FoHB, I have a long overdue treat: NCIS Stream of Consciousness Edition!

WARNING: If you haven't seen tonight's episode "Borderland", just don't even read this blog. You've now been adequately warned. Shoo!


*Phoof*

- Awww, little kid in a hardhat!
- OMG best birthday everrrrr!
- This doesn't bode well... "Don't tell your mother!"
- Cars don't bleed... silly!!
- Ziver... study hard!
- I wish Tony was really on Chatroulette!!
- "The longest I've gone is 10 seconds"... that's what she said!
- Awww, poor Tony.
- Finger puppets? Try harder.
- I love it when Gibbs interacts with children!
- EW. WHERE THE FUCK ARE HIS FEET?
- If I ever marry a man with the last name Marshall, I want to name our daughter Court(ney).
- That looks kinda like Denise's new bike on Army Wives!
- Nervous Abby, chill the hell out.
- Of COURSE he was wearing a state of the art runner's watch with GPS!
- OMG OMG OMG MINI CAF-POW IS SO CUTE!
- See, Abbs? He has your back. DON'T YOU DARE LEAVE THE SHOW!!
- Ohhhh Palmer... you're so inappropriate.
- Hahaha... Ducky: "Yabba dabba doo!"
- Seriously, I want this guy to have feet.
- Creepy looking welt.
- Awww, Abby breaks a lot of rules with good reasons!
- Soooo you're going with McGee!
- YAAAAAAAY MCGEE!
- Go into the truck...
- I bet that Abby would last hours on Chatroulette, DiNOTzo!
- OH HOLY FUCKING FUCK THOSE ARE FEET HANGING FROM MEAT HOOKS!
- MEXICO! AYE AYE AYE!
- McGee, if you were less of a party pooper, you could probably spend more time in Abby's miniskirt.
- Seriously McGee, bitching and whining your way through Mexico isn't the way to win over Abby.
- Hehehehe, Agent McGoo!
- Yes, stay together! Make McAbby babies!!
- Really Ducky, why can't you and Palmer removed the feet from the meat hooks faster.
- This is completely sick.
- This is almost as bad as the serial killer with the tongue fetish.
- Awesome. McGee is going to have crazy diarrhea during Abby's class.
- BITCH. I hate Natalia.
- Go Abby! Show her who's in charge and not ovulating!!
- Oh this is so Gibb's revenge murder case.
- Tee hee. DiNozzo and Ziva in the biker bar... they stick out just a tad.
- I think that woman has a penis.
- Aaaaaand I suspect the penis woman from the bar.
- Maybe not. Damn.
- Okay, so she's kinda helpful.
- I love Abby's black lace parasol. Even though the first time we saw it was at Kate's funeral. I wonder where they got it.
- Oh hell.
- Defend them, McGee!
- Abby, you have a big mouth.
- Oh McGee, you're so sweet!
- I bet she's an agent.
- Nope, she's a drug cartel. My observation skills are sucking.
- I bet Pedro's her brother or something.
- AAAAAAND that sniper was Gibbs.
- That. Was. Weird.
- Toe cheese? Really, Palmer?
- All those feet really gross me out.
- They were all already dead except one? I smell a copycat killer!
- YESSSS! They have one bed!
- I want Abby's pajamas.
- HAHAHAHA they just figured out Tony and Ziva!
- McGee is hot...
- That wasn't even funny McGee! And now you're never getting any from Abby ever again.
- McGee, you suck at being in Mexico.
- Ziva hit the nail on the head. Tony is pathetic.
- That is the BEST alarm clock I've ever seen!
- Oh noes... Abby's onto something.
- She knows.
- Of course you did, sketchy man.
- Yup. Don't trust you either.
- Yes you do too know!
- A body that's been buried for over 20 years? Nasty...
- This is bad.
- I like Abby's finger tattoo!
- (Commercial break: Hetty/Grandmother Willow can't resign from NCIS: LA!!)
- Wait... they're back already? Where was the sexytime?
- McGee, you look like hell. And I mean that in the best way possible.
- Haha, Tony, you're evil.
- Ducky's hair looks browner than usual.
- Yes, Gibbs, that's who you shot.
- This is freaky.
- It's like that little slug has come full circle!
- Yeah, that doesn't look like a tissue sample to me either.
- McGee knows things!
- HAHAHAHA, McGee, you've just earned 25 awesome points!
- Oh, it's the penis woman again.
- HA! I knew I shouldn't trust her.
- Ooooooh she's got a devil ring!
- Well, this is basically a done deal, but there's still time left in the show.
- What is Abby doing at Gibbs' house? This never happens!
- Disenchanted Abby... she seems more realistic now.
- Is rule 40 a new one?
- Abby, you never make mistakes.
- SEE? Abby is like a daughter to Gibbs! Take that, Gabby shippers!
- OH MY GOD THAT'S WHERE IT ENDS?!?!?
- I swear to Beejeezus, if you don't tell her that you'll love her unconditionally, I will kick your Marine ass, Gibbs!
- (Next week: Ooooh, this looks good! I like the Gibbs on horseback ensemble!)

Alright kids, it's time for me to... sorry, I got distracted by the beginning of NCIS: LA.

~Christine

Happy 1000th Blog View To Me!

I am slightly ashamed to report that the 1000th view of this blog (since I put in that counter thing a few months back) was me. Womp womp. So maybe I'm just a smidge narcissistic. (Side note: Why does the spell-checker in Google Chrome suck so much? First it doesn't know 'texting' and now 'smidge'?) Anywhoodles, happy day to me!

Actually, today hasn't been particularly happy. It was a Monday, so dock about 25 fun points right there. Plus, work has gone from dull to so boring that I contemplate ways to pluck out my eyeballs as "S.O.S." by Rihanna is stuck in my head for 7 of the 8 hours of work. The first hour of work I was too tired to have songs stuck in my head. Also, the idiot who sits next to me might get a taste of Heinous Bitch if he doesn't stop butting into other people's business. This morning I thought he was going to start a fight with the old man who sits in front of him. FOR REAL HE IS A SENIOR CITIZEN. LET IT GO! The worst part is that the old man was right in what they were arguing about. Not that that's a bad thing, but it's bad that this argument didn't even need to happen! Just because you used to be a calculus teacher, doesn't mean that you know shit now, Mr. Smartypants!

Sorry, but I don't have a NAUGHTY HAIKU for you all today. I just spent over an hour on the phone with my friend Ashley from UD, and I want to watch last night's episode of Army Wives before I have to go to bed at my old lady bedtime. So in short, Ashley+Army Wives>NAUGHTY HAIKU.

I'm still on the fence about what I want to do with the online dating profile thing. I really don't like getting messages from the guys on it, so that's a pretty good sign, right? I just wish things were as simple as they were in junior high. How do grown-ups date or meet people? I don't even know. I wish McGee was real.

On that note, what the cul-de-sac is up with the NCIS cast not all renewing their contracts in a timely fashion? At least David McCallum and Michael Weatherly are back on for next year, but I swear on Gibbs' boat, if Sean Murray and Pauley Perrette don't come back next year, I will be making a visit to their abodes when I'm in LA this summer. Actually, no I won't, on the rare chance that someone takes me seriously. I'm not a stalker, I promise. BUT I WILL BE FREAKING PISSED. The only possible way that I would forgive them if they actually start dating again before this season is over. I think the writers are setting that up nicely, based on last week's polygraph lady episode. I think I've already said this recently in a post. FACK.

Next topic: My Facebook purge! It's been a weird little experiment. I'm apparently not as addicted to it as I thought I once was because it's only been here or there that I've wanted to get on it. Yesterday was pretty rough, I will admit. The key to not being on Facebook is just to be busier. I'm trying to think about what I did online before Facebook, and the only things I can remember are Xanga/LiveJournal and chatting to people on AIM, but who does any of those things anymore? No one. Everyone's all about the GChat (which not many of my close friends have or use) or the Facebook Chat (which lord knows why because the little experience I've had with it has been glitchy). So I've found other outlets to kill my time. Obviously, blogging. I've also become a big fan of an online community where you can give people advice. It's fun and I'm decent at it. I've also been Tweeting more, though not as much as I expected. I love Twitter because it's how I find out things with celebrities, but not as many of my friends have jumped on the Tweetwagon like I have. Also, one of the things that I miss about Facebook is not knowing things. You have to understand that I HATE HATE HATE being left out, and unless I'm with people, I am always going to be out of the loop. Even if it doesn't directly involve me, I don't like not knowing what's going on. You could call it 'nosy', or if you're not a heinous bitch, you could also call it 'concerned'. I've been this way since I was a baby. Honest to Pete, the reason why I didn't nap as a baby was because I didn't want to miss out on stuff. When I went to preschool, my mom had to lie to me and tell me that when I left, she didn't do anything (she also had to do that with my brother because he's a mama's boy!). So yes, I miss knowing things.

Interesting concept: replacing the phone ringing at the beginning of "The Call" by the Backstreet Boys with a thunderclap. It just happened to me by coincidence (my Weather Channel desktop just alerted me of approaching severe dunderstorms!), and it gives the song a whole new edge. I love it!

Okay, now I really am going to go watch Army Wives! I'm so excited for an episode that hopefully isn't so Lenore/Claudia Joy-centric. I love Claudia Joy, but I don't like the rivalry plot that she always seems to become tangled (and then ever-so-gracefully untangled) in. OH MY GOD I DON'T KNOW HOW TO END THIS POST. FACK, AGAIN I SAY, FACK!

~Christine

I'm making up for yesterday's short post...

Sundays are becoming my least favorite day of the week. For one thing, there's the impending doom of the work week starting the next day. Plus Friday and Saturday are (usually) so awesome that Sunday just pales in comparison. And the last two Sundays have had really shitty weather, which wouldn't be so bad if I had anything to do today, but I didn't. Facebook wasn't around to distract me for hours on end, so I just watched hours of Friends. I love Friends, but I really hate it when TV shows end. Usually I cry. Even now, watching the last episode of Full House makes me really depressed, and that show's been off the air for 15 years! (and I repeat: when did I get old?!?) But Friends, oh man. I weep like a little child and I've only seen the last episode twice. That's all I can handle. So yes, in addition to poopy weather and poopy boredom, I had poopy sadness today too.

I'm debating on whether or not I want to attempt online dating again. The last time I was single, I joined a free dating site along with my friends Phil and Liz. They both had lots of success (although it was all temporary) but I only actually met two of the guys from the site. One of them I liked a lot, and we met up a couple of times, but we never made it out of the friend zone, and looking back, that was probably pretty wise. He's a nice guy, but we never had that spark. The other guy wasn't that great. We went out once and he spent the whole date texting his friends to make plans to go sing karaoke afterwards. Not cool. And then a few weeks later when we tried to make plans to go out again, he "got called into work" and after that I kinda gave up on him. Then I started dating Bill and completely forgot about the other guy, until I saw that he had unfriended me on Facebook. Awesome socks. So you can see why I have some reservations.

I re-activated my profile about a week and a half ago, but I haven't changed anything on it, including the part where it says Body Type: Skinny! Hahaha, right? But back then, I could claim myself as a skinny person. It also still has a whole bunch of stuff about how I wanted to be a band director. Yup, I really need to do some updating. But I'm still not 100% sure if I want to start that search again. I miss having someone there for me all of the time, but I'm not going to find that at the start of a new relationship. That's what friends are for. It's weird though, some of the simplest things are what I miss the most. I love having my hand held. I love hugs. Scratch that, I REALLY love hugs. I love how boys smell. I love having someone put their arm around my shoulder. I love snuggling into a boy's chest. But again, most of those things I'm not going to find at the beginning of a new relationship.

While I was looking through my external hard drive yesterday to find the recipe for buffalo chicken dip (that I had mistakenly transferred over there when I moved files a few weeks ago), I found my boyfriend requirements list from the last time I was single. Keep in mind that this was from my junior year of college:

Christine's Boyfriend Requirements (2007 Edition):

- single

- at least straight

- male

- dark brown/black or blonde hair (no redheads!)

- enjoys music

- little body hair (i.e. anything more than a happy trail on the torso is not acceptable. Leg hair is fine. Back hair is not.)

- good teeth (straight and none missing)

- sense of humor

- taller than me (5'7")

- not overweight

Ideally, He Should Also:

- look good in a polo shirt

- be a fan of the Buckeyes, Steelers, and Notre Dame

- be Catholic

- have nice looking feet (no hammertoes)

- be well-dressed and groomed

- have a normal sounding name (nothing too complicated/hard to pronounce)

- be understandable (in all forms of the word)

- sing, play piano, play guitar, or play some string instrument

Some of this is so ridiculous that it makes me laugh. Some of it is still pretty true. Some of it I think I may have been a smidge bit demanding. Anywho, I've decided to revise this list as I am back on the market (by the way, I really hate that phrase because it makes me feel like produce, but it's better than 'back in the saddle').

Christine's Boyfriend Requirements (2010 Edition):

- single

- straight

- male

- have brown or black hair

- be a music lover

- be a physically attractive person

- have a sense of humor

- be taller than me

- be in shape

- be an interesting person to talk to

- be intelligent

- respect women, especially treat his mother well

- be open minded

- have goals for himself

- care about me

- be honest with himself and others

- not have things that need to be fixed (this goes along with the common fact that I tend to date charity cases who either hate themselves, hate the world, or have mental health issues)

- have confidence

- be a fun person to spend time with

- take initiative

I guess you could say that I've upped the ante, but that's the point of dating different people. You're supposed to date people so you know what's important to you in a relationship and what isn't. If you constantly date the same types of people (*shifty eyes*) you're never going to know what you're missing out on.

Moving on... to today's special edition of SLIGHTLY INTOXICATED NAUGHTY HAIKU!

You may notice that this isn't in the usual black and white color scheme. I wrote this particular NAUGHTY HAIKU at Jackie's house last night at approximately 1:30 AM. Different words, different phrases, I had a good time. I'm not entirely sure what the bit about being a bigger boat is really getting at... maybe it's a reference to being the town bicycle? Go sniff some glue after smoking some feelings and let me know!

~Christine

dayo, daaaaaayo, daaaylight come and I wanna go home/back on Facebook

I've survived 39 hours without Facebook. And I'm not dead!

Actually, until about 10 minutes ago, it hasn't been that bad today. I worked late today (and by late, I mean an extra 30 minutes, but every minute counts!) so that cut into Facebook time. I honestly don't remember what I did when I got home today. I know I tweeted, but everything before dinner is a blur to me. So yes, I've done my very best to stay busy. I've noticed that it's when I start to be bored that I want to get on Facebook. Makes sense to me. But I'm actually having to work harder at not being bored. It also helps that my time to be bored is at a premium these days. With being at work for 8 hours a day, and there's a 20 minute commute on either end, plus there's dinnertime, and the fact that I HAVE to get to bed before midnight if I want to be a human the next day (as opposed to the night before my first day of work when I believe I fell asleep close to 1 AM), I don't have as much free time to get on Facebook as I did when I was babysitting/not working at all.

Honestly, the worst part of this whole thing has been the people who have gotten pissy with me for deactivating. FOR SERIOUS WE ARE STILL FRIENDS. I'm not talking about the people who have asked me if I deleted Facebook, I'm talking about the people who are in a panic-striken pissy mood because they can't creep on my Facebook page right now. Get a grip. If you REALLY want to know what's up with my life, text me. If it wasn't for the fact that I am hopelessly addicted to Facebook, I would just delete it permanently just to prove my point that if you consider yourself to be a real friend and not a Facebook friend, you need to make an effort in real life to communicate with that person. I don't care if people want to write on my wall or whatever. I get that it's easier sometimes. But for the people who haven't made an effort to communicate with me even on Facebook, you have no right to be pissy. Sorr about the bag.

Okay, I'm done ranting. I wonder if this is what it feels like when a smoker tries to quit smoking. Actually, I'm a happier person in general these days. Even though my job is pretty mundane, at least I'm out and talking to grown-ups. Not that I don't love talking to the kids I sit for, they are hilarious and awesome, but sometimes it's nice to remember what grown-ups talk about, i.e. not what Barbie is going to do at her wedding that's also at the prom but only after she watches the little robot toys battle. I genuinely miss babysitting. It's a constantly changing job, where this job is the same thing. Over and over. And over. And sometimes under. And over again. I realized today at work that I like kids much more in person than I do when I'm trying to read their chicken scratch handwriting.

I don't have much else to day, other than today's installment of NAUGHTY HAIKU. Oh! After I'm done writing this, I plan on re-watching last night's episode of NCIS. Mmm... Tim McGee. I kinda felt bad for Susan. I hope to bejeezus that I'm never that pathetic/daft/irritating as fuck when it comes to men. I dole out relationship advice enough to make me think that I don't, but sometimes I wonder. Anywho, except for the moment where McGee saw that Susan had brought him coffee and he literally turned around and bolted, I was very proud of how he handled that whole situation. But seriously, she bought a coffee for you, not a leash. Calm the eff down. And I LOVED Abby's rant in autopsy about Susan/McGee. At least the other characters on the show are finally recognizing the sexual tension between McAbby that's been building for the last 7 years. I don't know if I would wait for someone for that long. I know that they've both dated other people in that time frame, but they both went through dry spells too. And none of their other relationships have been healthy or serious. Hmmm... I'm super excited for the Abby and McGee go to Mexico and have to share a bed in a hotel room episode!

I realize I was a bit of a cocktease there, putting out the NAUGHTY HAIKU signal and then not delivering results. But we all know that NCIS is better than NAUGHTY HAIKU, don't we? Be careful how you answer that, it's a trick question! Okay, and now as promised, today's NAUGHTY HAIKU!

Not as naughty as I would like, but still kind of naughty in a Stefenie-Meyer-can't-say-the-word-sex-in-the-Twilight-series way. I'd give it a PG-13 rating.

Speaking of Twilight, Jackie sent me a hilarious Tumblr page the other day that I think you all would enjoy. It's called Twilight Sucks. Now let me clear about something. I don't hate Twilight. Do I regard it as a literary masterpiece? No. Do I use as an advice column about what to do with boys? Hell no. But I respect it for what it is: fluff designed to make teenage girls go ape shit. It does a pretty good job at that. I know that I'm no longer a teenage girl (fuck! when did I get old?) but I would still consider it to be a decent piece of fluff. A hell of a lot better than some of those Harlequin romance novels I used to steal from my mom... what's the statute of limitations on that? Anyway, my point is that I find this Tumblr fantastically funny, especially the pictures of Twilight scenes with quotes from Mean Girls. Just know that if you are a die-hard Twilight fan that you need a thick skin to visit said page. Also, you need better literary tastes, unless you also like Harry Potter, in which case I absolve you of your sins.

Don't stop the music!

~Christine

ennui

Hi.

This weather really sucks. I don't like the rain when I'm already in a bad mood. Rain is supposed to be there when you've been in a really good mood for such a long time that you need the rain to knock you down a notch. Let's make a list!

Emotions Christine is Feeling Right Now:

- sad

- bored

- pain (I have a headache)

- antsy

- stressed

- tired

- angsty

And finally...

- ENNUI

For those of you who were not blessed enough to watch Gilmore Girls when it was on TV, here is a clip explaining what ennui is:

That is me in a nutshell right now. I'm not entirely sure why, I had a lot of fun this afternoon with Brenda, Jackie, and Dustin, but then I got home and it was like WHOOMP! EnnuiMonster! I think it's partially because I've been disappointed a lot lately and I'm getting really tired of it. Nothing seems to really be going my way, and unfortunately I can't do a damn thing to make things go my way.

I want my financial aid packet from Kent State. I want my car to not be a lousy piece of crap. I've noticed now that even when I'm in other people's car, I automatically tense up when we stop at traffic lights because I've trained myself to check to see if the check oil light is on when I'm stopped. I'm tired of being broke all of the time. I want to be able to buy things and fix things, but without money, you can't do anything. I'm also deathly afraid that I won't be able to go to grad school at all next year because of the money.

I'm tired of being lonely all the time. For the last 6 months in my relationship with Bill, we barely saw each other, and we really should have seen each other more often. Scratch that, we should have WANTED to see each other more often. Sadly, our relationship was healthier when he was in Denver. I just want to be in a relationship where the guy makes an effort. It's really done a number on my self-confidence. I am done pulling the wagon. He has to help! (and by 'he' I mean the hypothetical male figure that doesn't exist) I mean really, what the hell is with guys today? They've gotten lazy because now that us women are all independent thinkers who make the first move, they think that they don't ever have to make the first move. That's not the case! Some of us women have gotten burnt out and we deserve a break. As much as I'm all for women's rights, sometimes I wish we were back in the days where girls waited for the guys to call them to ask them out. None of this texting/Facebook/IM business. None of this elusive crap when the girl asks the guy out, because guys are so much harder to read than girls. Guys, if you can't tell when a girl is interested in you, you don't deserve her. (ironically, "Tell Him" by Celine Dion and Barbara Streisand just came on my iTunes. that's the problem RIGHT THERE.) Anyway, I want a simpler time. If a guy calls you and asks you to dinner on Friday night, he's interested in you. Plain and simple. But if a girls calls a guy and asks him to dinner on Friday night, it could be as friends, or it could be a romantic thing, or worse, one person could think it's a friend thing and the other could think it's a romantic thing. THIS IS WHY WE NEED LABELS. They suck because they make men all anxious and weird because they all have commitment issues (and many women do too, let's be fair) but sometimes you just need to get it all out on the table.

Can you tell I'm in my man-hating phase? Actually, it's more of a love/hate phase. Hate for all of the previous reasons stated, but love because I'm lonely and I'm definitely a relationship person.

And now for today's installment of NAUGHTY HAIKU:

It's not so much naughty, as it is angsty, but that's just how I am right now. Suck on that!

~Christine

puuuuuuuuuurge!

Today has been a day of purging. I purged my Facebook of unnecessary information. I purged my phone of old numbers belonging to people I don't like or don't talk to anymore. I purged my computer of over 20 GB of videos and pictures. I wanted to cut my hair, like I usually do after a break-up, but I've also been in a pissy mood today, and that's no time to make an important decision about a haircut. Anyway, it's been a cleansing sort of day. Clearly I still have some things to work out, but hey, that's what newly single girls do sometimes.

I've been doing a lot of thinking about what I want. The last time I was single, I made a list of what I want in a guy and I posted it on my wall. Ultimately, I sacrificed a lot of things on that list, and I really shouldn't have. I'm learning slowly that you can't change people. I read an article online somewhere (I honestly forget where, otherwise I would cite it!) that said that you will subconsciously learn the flaws in a person the first time you meet them, and you either have to deal with them or move on. Sometimes they're okay flaws, sometimes they're endearing flaws, and other times, they're flaws that really suck. So I'm working on my new list. I'm not entirely sure yet what's going to be on the list, but I'm not going to sacrifice as much as I have in the past.

And on a lighter note, we have a guest poet for today's NAUGHTY HAIKU! None other than my favorite momma, Mommalicious! She wandered into my room a few days ago and saw the previous NAUGHTY HAIKU I had written, and attempted to write her own. Here's what she came up with:

Yup. That's my momma! She didn't quite get the whole 5 syllables - 7 syllables - 5 syllables thing. But at least she tried!

~Christine

I should write things down more often...

Ta-da! I made my blog all pretty and fresh! I thought that it's time for a change, and the old look was so dark and blech, and let's face it, winter's over. If you're a blogging-type like me, you should check out the site where I found this layout. I posted their pretty pink graphic underneath my Formspring.me box. BEE TEE DUBS, I have been sorely lacking in questions from you fine folks recently. This makes me sad. I get the website to ask me a random question a day, but it's not the same! So show me your lovin' and ask away, por favor.

I am slightly disappointed in myself. I came up with a super fantastic idea last night while I was watching Glee, but then I went to sleep last night and I woke up and forgot 1/3 of my idea! Anyway, the basic idea was the stereotypical dumb jock on TV.

Exhibit A: Dean from Gilmore Girls:

Exhibit B: Finn from Glee:

First off, the physical similarities are uncanny. Same floppy brown hair, same doey eyes. Both are tall and broad shouldered. Both are high school boys.

Then there's their bizarre relationship histories. Dean dated Rory, dumped Rory because she didn't say 'I love you' after three months of dating (in high school!) then got back together with Rory, then became insanely jealous of Rory's friendship with Jess, then dumped Rory at the end of a 24 hour dance marathon because the insane jealousy overtook him. Then after he dated and married Lindsay in under a year, he cheated on his new wife with Rory multiple times, Lindsay found out, divorced Dean, and then Dean and Rory continued to date, until Rory's grandparents had a party and he saw her *gasp* TALKING TO OTHER BOYS. Dean Forrester, you are one nutty cashew.

I don't know nearly as much about Finn's relationships as I do Dean's, but Glee's only been on the air for half of a season. So far, Finn was convinced by his now ex-girlfriend Quinn (and can I just take a second to say that dating someone whose name rhymes with your own is WEIRD.) that he got her pregnant by making out in a hot tub. That's right. He was that stupid. Maybe he didn't have health class in high school yet, but even still, I knew what needs to happen to make a baby when I was in 5th grade. Finally, Quinn comes clean and then Finn dates Rachel, dumps Rachel, dates two other cheerleaders at the same time, then tries to get back together with Rachel twice. And that's just from last night's episode! So yes. Another basket case on the loose.