it's time to trust my instincts, close my eyes, and leap

It's been two weeks since my surgery, and I'm finally starting to feel like a human being. It's crazy, I never realized how bad my sinuses were until I had them fixed. Did you know that when you inhale through your nose, you're supposed to feel a lot of air coming in? I didn't! Sometimes I just sit around breathing, just for the fun of it. I know, I sound crazy, but it's been a really long time since I was able to feel this way, and I plan on enjoying it, especially since I had to go through all of that pain to get here!

So now that my surgery's over, it's on to bigger things. Like my internship this summer! Which I leave for in... 8 days. Holy crap, where did the time go? This is the problem with laying around for two weeks. Time keeps on going, even though I wasn't going anywhere. So I have some mixed feelings. For one thing, I hate change, and I really do have a good thing going at home. I know, it sounds slightly insane for a 24 year old to enjoy living at home, but I really do. I also have a really close relationship with my family, so that helps. I just hope I can reach the point of not feeling like a houseguest this summer. I haven't been to my aunt and uncle's house in almost two years, and I really don't know where things are, like dishes and extra toilet paper. It sounds silly, but these are simple things that most of the time people take for granted. I'm also seriously questioning my ability to be able to actually do my job. I have zero experience, so at some point I'm expecting stumbling and failure, but I really hate that thought. I don't like making mistakes when it comes to work, school or otherwise. Plus this is so much more than just work. This is what I want to do for the rest of my life, so my success basically determines what the rest of my work life will be like. Let's not forget that a couple of failures was what caused me to do a 180 and change my major my senior year of undergrad. I can't make that decision again. And if I mess up, then I make my aunt look bad since this is her workplace and she vouched for me to get this internship in the first place. So no pressure, right? I suppose this summer could turn out to be fun, but right now I'm too busy being worried to worry about having fun. My hair is actually starting to fall out (again) from the stress. My mom thinks it's from the anesthesia, but that was two weeks ago. I shouldn't still feel the effects of that now.

I think I'm just going to have to jump into the next two months feet first. Really, two months isn't that long if you think about it. Two months ago today I was coming home from the eastern trip. In a way, that feels like a long time ago, especially when I think about everything that's happened since then, but then I look at my facebook pictures and I realize that the majority of my recent pictures were from that trip, so I don't feel like it was so long ago. It also helps that in the middle of my time in Alabama I have a week of vacation with my family. So it's actually 7 weeks. And one weekend I plan on visiting my old roommate Liz in Atlanta. And when I come back I have Kadie's wedding to look forward to! Then I have almost an entire month until classes start. Hopefully in that time I can find a job around here. I'm really tired of being broke. I managed to stretch my student loan money from this semester a little bit, but I also did some splurge-y things, like see Mary Poppins and I bought a couple of things to make me feel better about my surgery. But there's a lot of other splurge-y things that I wish I could have done. Thank goodness for super nice family who have been nice enough to help me out. Like my grandma paying for the paint on my car to be fixed! It looks amazing now, but there's no way I would have been able to afford that.

This hasn't gone exactly the way I planned in my head. Blargh, what else is new? Anyway, my point is that I've done some brave things in the past, and most of the time they've worked out well for me.

Good Brave Things
- breaking up with Bill (I'm counting this because even though he caused me a lot of pain for a long time afterwards, I'm now a much happier person)
- going back to school to get my MLIS
- chaperoning the rotary trips
- white water rafting (damn brave for a girl who sinks in water!)
- having the strength to realize that Kent made me miserable and I should move home
- my sinus surgery
- going climbing in the Rocky Mountains
- quitting my retail job

Yeah, I can't think of anything else. But there are some pretty big things on that list, so I feel like if I can handle them, I can handle just about anything.

sprinkle some seasoning

Hold on to your panties, I'm posting two days in a row!

I don't have any one large topic to write about, but I do have a variety of little musings.

It just dawned on me that THE end of Harry Potter will happen this July. At least when the last book came out, we still had a couple more movies left. This is it. I was so sad when the books ended, so I'm scared to think how sad I'll be when it's all over.

I finally got the heat going in my apartment. All those times that I turned on the wall units and it blew out cold air, I should have just left it on for awhile because now it's toasty in here. Huzzah!

The clunk in my refrigerator has returned. When I stayed here one night a week and a half ago, I never heard it clunk, so I assumed that they fixed it over break. Maybe they did, but it didn't stick around.

I have my interview for an assistantship tomorrow. I'm not nervous, but it just dawned on me that the last time I had a job interview was last February, so maybe I should be a little nervous.

I don't what it is about me, but I'm attracting all of the wrong guys on OkCupid. They're all short rednecks with missing teeth and children. Believe me, I have nothing against children, but I don't want to be someone's stepmother, at least not in my 20's. I think my profile is pretty kickass, but maybe it's not. I don't know, maybe I should message more guys first. I sent out a message a few days ago to one guy, but I haven't heard anything back yet. Maybe I'm being too picky, but I'm only going to message a guy if he's really special. I need a Yente. Or Patti Stanger.

Oh, but if you read this and you're a friend of mine in real life and you want to do a homegirl a favor, I would be ecstatic if you wanted to review my profile for me. Just let me know and I'll send you the link.

The Kardashians are distracting me... but I'm really glad Kourtney finally told Scott that his outfit makes no sense.

~ Christine

the dog days are over!

I'm feeling slightly invincible tonight. Babysitting was awful, but I'm not even going to get into that, I've been in such a fantastic mood the last few days, and nothing would bring me down right now.

After my "Woe is meeeeee... I'm never going to a job and I'm going to be an old maid" rant the other day, I realized that I have a lot more going for me than I originally thought. Let's be honest. I've spent a large portion of my life selling myself short. When I think about getting married and starting a family, I feel like I'm being suffocated. But when I think about grad school, and leaving Ohio, I feel exhilarated. I've always had a sneaky suspicion that I'm meant to be more than some fat toad's housewife. And now, I know for sure that I am going to do awesome things with my life. I like a challenge. I'm a competitive person. Just ask anyone who figured skated with me. I want the best for myself because I work hard and I deserve it. I really don't know what got into me my senior year of college where I basically became a moist towelette. You could have walked up to that Christine and told her that the only thing she was good at was making other people happy while never thinking about herself. Well, no more of that crap! I'm looking out for number one!

Yes, the job market is pretty sucky. But I'm convinced that if I give it my all and I work hard, I'll be okay. For one thing, I really don't want to stay in Ohio. I'm not really sure that I want to stay in one place for a long time, but Ohio is just not a good place to be right now, both for me and for librarians-to-be. It's a good fit. I've applied for the job in Ravenna, and I'm crossing my fingers that I get it because otherwise I won't have money for food (which may be a good way to lose weight... if it worked once, it can work again!). Plus, I want the experience. The MLIS program has a practicum requirement for your last semester in the program, but that's it. So in addition to my hopeful library job, I really want to get an internship next summer. Ideally, I want that internship to be in Washington DC. I've loved DC since the first time I visited in the summer of 2001. I also have friends in the city now (*waves at Phil and Laura*) and I have my former roommate in Baltimore (*waves at Hollie*). I spent my afternoon yesterday Googling internships in DC for library sciences and there's more than I thought there would be. The one I'm really lusting after is for MLIS candidates who also have a background in music and would be interested in a career as a music librarian. Music librarian jobs are extremely rare, but if I have the internship experience under my belt, I would have a greater chance of being hired should an opening come along. It's completely perfect. Plus it would also be a great chance for me to experience life out of Ohio for a little bit. I'm so ridiculously excited at the prospect of spending next summer in DC, and I can't even apply for these internships until January! This really is the first thing that I'm doing to help myself in a long time. Everything has been for the benefit of other people, and I'm sick of living my life for the sake of other people's wishes. Now it's my turn.

~ Christine

I blame the rain for this one...

Today has just been random, so that's how this entry is going to go: randomly.

- I have burned my tongue somehow in the last 24 hours or so. I don't remember burning it, or possibly biting it very hard, but since after dinner last night, it's felt funny. Like how when you burn your tongue on a hot drink, there's that weird smooth spot where you've burned off some taste buds. It's not a good feeling, and it hurts. I blame the chicken... mostly because I have nothing else to blame.

- I worked out this morning for the first time since I started my now old job. It felt GOOD. First of all, I woke up very angry this morning because I realized that all of the apologetic feelings I had yesterday are complete bullshit. So what did I do? I biked my ass off, figuratively and hopefully literally. I love biking when I'm really pissed off at the world. Almost as much as I love blasting Linkin Park on my car stereo when it's sunny AND I'm pissed off at the world.

- Speaking of la voiture, the nice people at Firestone called this afternoon with good news! They were able to fix my car by giving me an oil change and using a heavier oil (a 10 something versus a 5 something) and that was enough to not trip the low oil pressure detector thing in my car. Apparently even with the old oil in, it wasn't actually low enough to cause problems, but it was lower. So they gave me the oil change for free since it was related to a previous problem they had supposedly fixed, and then they noticed that I needed new wiper blades, so they installed a new pair. All in all, I got a repaired car, an oil change, and new wiper blades for $32! It was a very good day. Now I just need to get the paint chip issue fixed.

- I felt like purging again today, so I uninstalled all of my The Sims 3 games and custom content and then reinstalled the game. Now I have no saved families, no custom content, and I freed up a lot of space on my hard drive. It's hard once you install custom content to tell if it's something you're going to really use a lot or not. And even then, it's almost impossible to go back and find the correct files if it's something you don't want. I've had the game for almost a year, so I thought it was a good time for this.

- I miss last summer in a very weird way. I hated the last bit of it, but in a lot of ways, I liked it. I was free to do what I wanted, when I wanted (unless I had class or work). But I didn't have to say where I was going or for how long. And I could eat what I wanted when I wanted. I miss my green tea and my Diet V8 Splash! And my multigrain bread! Mmmm... tasty!

- I am a human emotional yo-yo. Part of me is like this: "FIND A GOOD MAN. FALL IN LOVE. GET MARRIED. MAKE BABIES. RAISE CHILDREN. BECOME MIDDLE AGED."

And the other part of me is like this: "GET YOUR MASTER'S. MOVE TO D.C. BECOME AN AWESOME LIBRARIAN IN THE LIBRARY OF CONGRESS. FIND A GOOD MAN WHO ISN'T INTIMIDATED BY YOUR OBVIOUS INTELLECTUAL PROWESS. IGNORE HIM FOR YOUR JOB. MAKE HIM FALL IN LOVE WITH YOU BECAUSE YOU IGNORED HIM. GET MARRIED. KEEP WORKING. HAVE ONE CHILD WHEN YOU'RE APPROACHING 40. BECOME MIDDLE AGED."

I know, obviously one of these sounds more fun than the other. But I have a very strong maternal instinct, and although I love learning and being viewed as an intelligent human being, I want to be a mom, and I want to be a mom at a young enough age to have the energy to deal with kids. I wish that I could do everything, or that I could hit a pause button on the progression of time so that I wouldn't have to stress over not being able to do everything. I am all about equality, but this is just one of those things that guys will never have to deal with, and I hate them for that. I hate that if I want to find a husband, I have to do it when I'm young and pretty, because no one wants an older woman. Cougar material I am not. But guys can wait until they're 40 because even then they'll still be able to snag some ho-bag of a 22 year-old coed. It's horribly unfair.

Unfortunately, since I have no man at my side, my decision's been made for me. It just scares me that there are gorgeous, intelligent, young women who aren't much older than me who aren't even dating, let alone finding the man of their dreams. What if I never get married? Scoff if you want, but I don't want to die alone. I know I have my "My Best Friend's Wedding" pact with Phil, but marrying your gay best friend is very different than marrying your best friend who you love. I want the latter. I keep trying to force myself into a situation where I date someone and then I try to make them my best friend, but it doesn't work that way. You're supposed to want to be around that person the majority of the time. Where is my person?

~Christine

st-st-st-stop talkin' that blah, blah, blah

I'm starting to feel like I'm living my life by running in a hamster wheel. It's getting to be ridiculous when it comes to repeat patterns that I'm falling into. It's hard to explain, but I'm basically the same person I've been my entire life, and I don't really like that. I kinda thought that by the time I was 23, I would have a better sense of who I am and be a more interesting person, but I don't, and I'm not.

Thankfully, my job is almost done. We're so far ahead of schedule now that they're giving us tomorrow off! I don't know what I'm going to do with my free time, though. I need to call Kent State to figure out why I haven't gotten a financial aid packet yet. But that's not fun.

I'm absolutely exhausted. I slept horribly last night, and it was one of those days where the children in state XYZ were just being so damn boring with their test questions. Honestly, if it wasn't for the coffee, I wouldn't have made it through the day. Nevertheless, I am going out tonight because dammit, I can!

Okay kids, I have a new mission: I need to find something good to read. So I'm taking suggestions. Preferably ones that are available at the library. Sooooo... lemme have it!

Keep holdin' on!

~Christine

bring it on, thunderstorm!

I love rain. I love thunderstorms too, as long as I'm not walking around Washington D.C. in the rain and picking up strange foot diseases. What I don't love is the giant sized headaches that I've started getting before storms. Screw you, atmospheric pressure! (Or is it barometric?)

So I'm really tired. I love Fridays, but they need to be more relaxing. Last Friday was good. Work ended, I had dinner, and that was it. But this business of coming home from work, eating dinner, washing my hair, picking up Grandma, going to the musical, dropping Grandma off again after the musical, and coming home was all a bit much. I haven't had a night of nothing-ness since Monday, and I think that's what contributing to my woe here. Tuesday I had my hike to go vote, Wednesday was Cinco de Mayo, and yesterday I took my Grandma shopping. I'm REALLY looking forward to sleeping in tomorrow, more than last week!

The rain stopped. What the hell?

Ugh, I'm too exhausted to write more. I totally understand why Meg McBlogger gives herself the weekends off from blogging! I PROMISE I'll have a big post tomorrow! (tee hee, dirty!)

~Christine

is there anybody going to listen to my story?

*in Ross Gellar voice* ... Hi.

It's been one of those days where I'm just in a funk. Even though it's Cinco de Mayo, which is loosely translated as "Pretend to give a shit about a Mexican holiday and drink margaritas!" Which is precisely why I am struggling a bit to  write this. But I love all of y'all and I WILL PERSEVERE DAMMIT! I'm not about to let some Jose Cuervo mess up my plan to blog every day!!

Back to my funk. I hate work. I woke up in a weird mood because of a frightenly realistic dream and that's had me in a bad mood all day. I've been irritable and distracted and it's like PMS but not. I want my job to just be over. I'm working as fast as I can to try to get through this project and NO. WE HAVE ANOTHER QUESTION TO GRADE AFTER THIS ONE. I'm tired of freezing for nothing. Maybe once I get a paycheck I'll feel a little better. I'm really picky about where I work. Kind of a problem.

Today has basically been like "The One Where Ross is Fine" (which is my all-time favorite episode of Friends, BEE TEE DUBS except for maybe the whole section of episodes where Monica and Chandler start doing the nasty and theyre hiding it from every one). ANYWAY... I'm fine, I had margaritas, but not fajitas. I did have a tasty quesdilla.

I'm tired and I have to go battle a zit from propping my head up with my hand al day work. Yes, Seventeen magazine, you're right. I should have listening to you more. Bitch. So far this job has made me zitty, fatty, cold, and cranky. LOSE LOSE SITUATION RIGHT THERE.

Oh right, I was going to post the NAUGHTY HAIKU.

Yup, Im back in all my NAUGHTIness.

Oh, here's a pretty picture of Puggle in her dress that I may have promised a few days ago. I don't remember. I made it all color splotty or whatever the eff that technique is called...

She got all the pretty genes in the family. I'm not even kidding. Sometimes in my mind I refer to Puggle as Christine 2.0. Then again, I bet even Beyoncé would look like a dog next to her sister before her prom. It's a fact of life that when you take pictures with someone before a formal and you're not dressed formally, you look like a homeless man living under a bridge.

Right. Off to wage war with my face.

~Christine

just hook me back up to that I.V., Doctor!

I'm baaaaaaack on Facebook!

It's SO nice to be able to creep on people again. Although, if there's one thing that I've learned from my hiatus, it's that there are lots of other things on the interwebs to occupy my time. Also, if you want to abstain from something that sucks up your time, the week you start a full time job is a good week to do it! I'm going to be perfectly honest and admit that if I was babysitting last week, I wouldn't have survived. Nevertheless, I'm back, and now no one's pissed at me, haha.

This is another anniversary for me! Today's post is my 100th post on FoHB! I know that I've technically had this blog for two calendar years, but if you look at my posting history thing over thattaway *points to the right hand side of screen* you'll notice that I haven't exactly been Ms. Reliable. I'm like a 1988 Ford Tempo (side note: up until a couple of years ago, my Grandma owned one of those life-endangering devices). I feel like we should all have a celebratory cake or something, but instead I'm eating cookies. But I do have more exciting news! At some point, Blogger changed the posting composer thingy and now it's WAY easier to add pictures to my blogs! I used to have to insert pictures and then cut all of the text, and re-paste it above the picture. And if I felt bold and posted a YouTube video in the same entry as a picture, WELL HOLD THE BANANA PHONE! So yes, formatting used to be a bitch, and now it's much easier, or so Blogger tells me. I'll let you know after I publish this entry.

I know I've bitched about work several times recently, and that I should just be thankful that I have a job, even though it's temporary, blah, blah, blah (I hate that Ke$ha ruined that phrase for me. Stupid bitch). However, even my team leader has picked up on the fact that I AM BORED AS I DON'T EVEN KNOW THERE'S NOTHING ELSE TO COMPARE MY LEVEL OF BOREDOM TO. She commented to me TWICE today that I looked pained/dead/bored/like a human popsicle (add 'popsicle' to the list of words that Google Chrome doesn't know. What the hell, Google? YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE MY WEB BROWSING MIRACLE WORKER!). Yes, I work in a windowless frozen tundra. Even our coffee guy/general jack-of-all-trades person tried to fix our thermostat today, and while it got better, it's still close to 60 degrees in our room at all times.  So while I'm sitting there, freezing my tuckus off for some snot nosed child in state XYZ (I'm not sure if I'm allowed to post online what state I'm scoring, LOLZ), I am also so bored with the question that with more than 45 minutes to spare today, I beat my personal goal of scoring 1,000 papers in a day. At 3:45, my team leader informed me that I scored 1,039. And I work until 4:30. Although, at one point after that, I scored all of the available papers because I go so fast since I'm bored and our question is really really REALLY easy. So I guess for about 7 minutes or so, I didn't have anything to do. Don't ask me why The Dealer (who in my mind, I picture to be someone like Drell from Sabrina the Teenage Witch) just doesn't learn that there are certain employees who kick other employees butts when it comes to speed and give the faster employees more papers to grade at once, but The Dealer doesn't, and then I work on my People magazine crossword puzzle. And not to toot my own flute or anything, but I also kick ass at accuracy too. Apparently the people in state XYZ randomly insert test papers into the bunches we're scoring to see if we're following their benchmarks or whatever, and my team leader also informed me this afternoon that I'm scoring at a 95% accuracy rate, which is the highest in my team of 9. Toot toot! So at least I'm good at the job that kills me with boredom...

Wow, that was a colossal paragraph about work. I'm sorry. I will be positive and say that if we continue to score at the rate that we're scoring at now, we'll be done by next Tuesday at the absolute latest. And of course, the more you score, the faster you get at it. I'm hoping we'll be done this week... but we'll see.

Alright, I was going to be awesome and post a new NAUGHTY HAIKU for you, and possibly some pictures of Puggle in her prom dress, but I got suckered into watching Glee tonight, and now it's close to my bedtime and I'm getting schleepy. Never mind that I started writing this almost two hours ago... fail.

~Christine

Happy 1000th Blog View To Me!

I am slightly ashamed to report that the 1000th view of this blog (since I put in that counter thing a few months back) was me. Womp womp. So maybe I'm just a smidge narcissistic. (Side note: Why does the spell-checker in Google Chrome suck so much? First it doesn't know 'texting' and now 'smidge'?) Anywhoodles, happy day to me!

Actually, today hasn't been particularly happy. It was a Monday, so dock about 25 fun points right there. Plus, work has gone from dull to so boring that I contemplate ways to pluck out my eyeballs as "S.O.S." by Rihanna is stuck in my head for 7 of the 8 hours of work. The first hour of work I was too tired to have songs stuck in my head. Also, the idiot who sits next to me might get a taste of Heinous Bitch if he doesn't stop butting into other people's business. This morning I thought he was going to start a fight with the old man who sits in front of him. FOR REAL HE IS A SENIOR CITIZEN. LET IT GO! The worst part is that the old man was right in what they were arguing about. Not that that's a bad thing, but it's bad that this argument didn't even need to happen! Just because you used to be a calculus teacher, doesn't mean that you know shit now, Mr. Smartypants!

Sorry, but I don't have a NAUGHTY HAIKU for you all today. I just spent over an hour on the phone with my friend Ashley from UD, and I want to watch last night's episode of Army Wives before I have to go to bed at my old lady bedtime. So in short, Ashley+Army Wives>NAUGHTY HAIKU.

I'm still on the fence about what I want to do with the online dating profile thing. I really don't like getting messages from the guys on it, so that's a pretty good sign, right? I just wish things were as simple as they were in junior high. How do grown-ups date or meet people? I don't even know. I wish McGee was real.

On that note, what the cul-de-sac is up with the NCIS cast not all renewing their contracts in a timely fashion? At least David McCallum and Michael Weatherly are back on for next year, but I swear on Gibbs' boat, if Sean Murray and Pauley Perrette don't come back next year, I will be making a visit to their abodes when I'm in LA this summer. Actually, no I won't, on the rare chance that someone takes me seriously. I'm not a stalker, I promise. BUT I WILL BE FREAKING PISSED. The only possible way that I would forgive them if they actually start dating again before this season is over. I think the writers are setting that up nicely, based on last week's polygraph lady episode. I think I've already said this recently in a post. FACK.

Next topic: My Facebook purge! It's been a weird little experiment. I'm apparently not as addicted to it as I thought I once was because it's only been here or there that I've wanted to get on it. Yesterday was pretty rough, I will admit. The key to not being on Facebook is just to be busier. I'm trying to think about what I did online before Facebook, and the only things I can remember are Xanga/LiveJournal and chatting to people on AIM, but who does any of those things anymore? No one. Everyone's all about the GChat (which not many of my close friends have or use) or the Facebook Chat (which lord knows why because the little experience I've had with it has been glitchy). So I've found other outlets to kill my time. Obviously, blogging. I've also become a big fan of an online community where you can give people advice. It's fun and I'm decent at it. I've also been Tweeting more, though not as much as I expected. I love Twitter because it's how I find out things with celebrities, but not as many of my friends have jumped on the Tweetwagon like I have. Also, one of the things that I miss about Facebook is not knowing things. You have to understand that I HATE HATE HATE being left out, and unless I'm with people, I am always going to be out of the loop. Even if it doesn't directly involve me, I don't like not knowing what's going on. You could call it 'nosy', or if you're not a heinous bitch, you could also call it 'concerned'. I've been this way since I was a baby. Honest to Pete, the reason why I didn't nap as a baby was because I didn't want to miss out on stuff. When I went to preschool, my mom had to lie to me and tell me that when I left, she didn't do anything (she also had to do that with my brother because he's a mama's boy!). So yes, I miss knowing things.

Interesting concept: replacing the phone ringing at the beginning of "The Call" by the Backstreet Boys with a thunderclap. It just happened to me by coincidence (my Weather Channel desktop just alerted me of approaching severe dunderstorms!), and it gives the song a whole new edge. I love it!

Okay, now I really am going to go watch Army Wives! I'm so excited for an episode that hopefully isn't so Lenore/Claudia Joy-centric. I love Claudia Joy, but I don't like the rivalry plot that she always seems to become tangled (and then ever-so-gracefully untangled) in. OH MY GOD I DON'T KNOW HOW TO END THIS POST. FACK, AGAIN I SAY, FACK!

~Christine

I'm making up for yesterday's short post...

Sundays are becoming my least favorite day of the week. For one thing, there's the impending doom of the work week starting the next day. Plus Friday and Saturday are (usually) so awesome that Sunday just pales in comparison. And the last two Sundays have had really shitty weather, which wouldn't be so bad if I had anything to do today, but I didn't. Facebook wasn't around to distract me for hours on end, so I just watched hours of Friends. I love Friends, but I really hate it when TV shows end. Usually I cry. Even now, watching the last episode of Full House makes me really depressed, and that show's been off the air for 15 years! (and I repeat: when did I get old?!?) But Friends, oh man. I weep like a little child and I've only seen the last episode twice. That's all I can handle. So yes, in addition to poopy weather and poopy boredom, I had poopy sadness today too.

I'm debating on whether or not I want to attempt online dating again. The last time I was single, I joined a free dating site along with my friends Phil and Liz. They both had lots of success (although it was all temporary) but I only actually met two of the guys from the site. One of them I liked a lot, and we met up a couple of times, but we never made it out of the friend zone, and looking back, that was probably pretty wise. He's a nice guy, but we never had that spark. The other guy wasn't that great. We went out once and he spent the whole date texting his friends to make plans to go sing karaoke afterwards. Not cool. And then a few weeks later when we tried to make plans to go out again, he "got called into work" and after that I kinda gave up on him. Then I started dating Bill and completely forgot about the other guy, until I saw that he had unfriended me on Facebook. Awesome socks. So you can see why I have some reservations.

I re-activated my profile about a week and a half ago, but I haven't changed anything on it, including the part where it says Body Type: Skinny! Hahaha, right? But back then, I could claim myself as a skinny person. It also still has a whole bunch of stuff about how I wanted to be a band director. Yup, I really need to do some updating. But I'm still not 100% sure if I want to start that search again. I miss having someone there for me all of the time, but I'm not going to find that at the start of a new relationship. That's what friends are for. It's weird though, some of the simplest things are what I miss the most. I love having my hand held. I love hugs. Scratch that, I REALLY love hugs. I love how boys smell. I love having someone put their arm around my shoulder. I love snuggling into a boy's chest. But again, most of those things I'm not going to find at the beginning of a new relationship.

While I was looking through my external hard drive yesterday to find the recipe for buffalo chicken dip (that I had mistakenly transferred over there when I moved files a few weeks ago), I found my boyfriend requirements list from the last time I was single. Keep in mind that this was from my junior year of college:

Christine's Boyfriend Requirements (2007 Edition):

- single

- at least straight

- male

- dark brown/black or blonde hair (no redheads!)

- enjoys music

- little body hair (i.e. anything more than a happy trail on the torso is not acceptable. Leg hair is fine. Back hair is not.)

- good teeth (straight and none missing)

- sense of humor

- taller than me (5'7")

- not overweight

Ideally, He Should Also:

- look good in a polo shirt

- be a fan of the Buckeyes, Steelers, and Notre Dame

- be Catholic

- have nice looking feet (no hammertoes)

- be well-dressed and groomed

- have a normal sounding name (nothing too complicated/hard to pronounce)

- be understandable (in all forms of the word)

- sing, play piano, play guitar, or play some string instrument

Some of this is so ridiculous that it makes me laugh. Some of it is still pretty true. Some of it I think I may have been a smidge bit demanding. Anywho, I've decided to revise this list as I am back on the market (by the way, I really hate that phrase because it makes me feel like produce, but it's better than 'back in the saddle').

Christine's Boyfriend Requirements (2010 Edition):

- single

- straight

- male

- have brown or black hair

- be a music lover

- be a physically attractive person

- have a sense of humor

- be taller than me

- be in shape

- be an interesting person to talk to

- be intelligent

- respect women, especially treat his mother well

- be open minded

- have goals for himself

- care about me

- be honest with himself and others

- not have things that need to be fixed (this goes along with the common fact that I tend to date charity cases who either hate themselves, hate the world, or have mental health issues)

- have confidence

- be a fun person to spend time with

- take initiative

I guess you could say that I've upped the ante, but that's the point of dating different people. You're supposed to date people so you know what's important to you in a relationship and what isn't. If you constantly date the same types of people (*shifty eyes*) you're never going to know what you're missing out on.

Moving on... to today's special edition of SLIGHTLY INTOXICATED NAUGHTY HAIKU!

You may notice that this isn't in the usual black and white color scheme. I wrote this particular NAUGHTY HAIKU at Jackie's house last night at approximately 1:30 AM. Different words, different phrases, I had a good time. I'm not entirely sure what the bit about being a bigger boat is really getting at... maybe it's a reference to being the town bicycle? Go sniff some glue after smoking some feelings and let me know!

~Christine

dayo, daaaaaayo, daaaylight come and I wanna go home/back on Facebook

I've survived 39 hours without Facebook. And I'm not dead!

Actually, until about 10 minutes ago, it hasn't been that bad today. I worked late today (and by late, I mean an extra 30 minutes, but every minute counts!) so that cut into Facebook time. I honestly don't remember what I did when I got home today. I know I tweeted, but everything before dinner is a blur to me. So yes, I've done my very best to stay busy. I've noticed that it's when I start to be bored that I want to get on Facebook. Makes sense to me. But I'm actually having to work harder at not being bored. It also helps that my time to be bored is at a premium these days. With being at work for 8 hours a day, and there's a 20 minute commute on either end, plus there's dinnertime, and the fact that I HAVE to get to bed before midnight if I want to be a human the next day (as opposed to the night before my first day of work when I believe I fell asleep close to 1 AM), I don't have as much free time to get on Facebook as I did when I was babysitting/not working at all.

Honestly, the worst part of this whole thing has been the people who have gotten pissy with me for deactivating. FOR SERIOUS WE ARE STILL FRIENDS. I'm not talking about the people who have asked me if I deleted Facebook, I'm talking about the people who are in a panic-striken pissy mood because they can't creep on my Facebook page right now. Get a grip. If you REALLY want to know what's up with my life, text me. If it wasn't for the fact that I am hopelessly addicted to Facebook, I would just delete it permanently just to prove my point that if you consider yourself to be a real friend and not a Facebook friend, you need to make an effort in real life to communicate with that person. I don't care if people want to write on my wall or whatever. I get that it's easier sometimes. But for the people who haven't made an effort to communicate with me even on Facebook, you have no right to be pissy. Sorr about the bag.

Okay, I'm done ranting. I wonder if this is what it feels like when a smoker tries to quit smoking. Actually, I'm a happier person in general these days. Even though my job is pretty mundane, at least I'm out and talking to grown-ups. Not that I don't love talking to the kids I sit for, they are hilarious and awesome, but sometimes it's nice to remember what grown-ups talk about, i.e. not what Barbie is going to do at her wedding that's also at the prom but only after she watches the little robot toys battle. I genuinely miss babysitting. It's a constantly changing job, where this job is the same thing. Over and over. And over. And sometimes under. And over again. I realized today at work that I like kids much more in person than I do when I'm trying to read their chicken scratch handwriting.

I don't have much else to day, other than today's installment of NAUGHTY HAIKU. Oh! After I'm done writing this, I plan on re-watching last night's episode of NCIS. Mmm... Tim McGee. I kinda felt bad for Susan. I hope to bejeezus that I'm never that pathetic/daft/irritating as fuck when it comes to men. I dole out relationship advice enough to make me think that I don't, but sometimes I wonder. Anywho, except for the moment where McGee saw that Susan had brought him coffee and he literally turned around and bolted, I was very proud of how he handled that whole situation. But seriously, she bought a coffee for you, not a leash. Calm the eff down. And I LOVED Abby's rant in autopsy about Susan/McGee. At least the other characters on the show are finally recognizing the sexual tension between McAbby that's been building for the last 7 years. I don't know if I would wait for someone for that long. I know that they've both dated other people in that time frame, but they both went through dry spells too. And none of their other relationships have been healthy or serious. Hmmm... I'm super excited for the Abby and McGee go to Mexico and have to share a bed in a hotel room episode!

I realize I was a bit of a cocktease there, putting out the NAUGHTY HAIKU signal and then not delivering results. But we all know that NCIS is better than NAUGHTY HAIKU, don't we? Be careful how you answer that, it's a trick question! Okay, and now as promised, today's NAUGHTY HAIKU!

Not as naughty as I would like, but still kind of naughty in a Stefenie-Meyer-can't-say-the-word-sex-in-the-Twilight-series way. I'd give it a PG-13 rating.

Speaking of Twilight, Jackie sent me a hilarious Tumblr page the other day that I think you all would enjoy. It's called Twilight Sucks. Now let me clear about something. I don't hate Twilight. Do I regard it as a literary masterpiece? No. Do I use as an advice column about what to do with boys? Hell no. But I respect it for what it is: fluff designed to make teenage girls go ape shit. It does a pretty good job at that. I know that I'm no longer a teenage girl (fuck! when did I get old?) but I would still consider it to be a decent piece of fluff. A hell of a lot better than some of those Harlequin romance novels I used to steal from my mom... what's the statute of limitations on that? Anyway, my point is that I find this Tumblr fantastically funny, especially the pictures of Twilight scenes with quotes from Mean Girls. Just know that if you are a die-hard Twilight fan that you need a thick skin to visit said page. Also, you need better literary tastes, unless you also like Harry Potter, in which case I absolve you of your sins.

Don't stop the music!

~Christine

you're my kind of heroin, Facebook

Allo!

I have made an important decision in my life. Some of you already know this, like if you're OMG obsessed with me... I have deactivated my Facebook account. I suggested it on my status a few days ago and almost caused a riot. It just goes to show how addicted we all are. Come on people! We had friends before Facebook! I'm not sippin' Haterade on y'alls now just because I got rid of Facebook. I STILL LOVE ALL OF YOU. And I mean that in the sense that I love everyone, and I love all parts of everyone. Ha. Kidding. Some of you shouldn't take off your clothes. Ha. Kidding again. But seriously, I don't want to see my friends naked! Wow, this got awkward quickly... moving on.

The Facebook thing isn't permanent, I promise you. I'm going to be genuinely shocked if I make it through the whole week without it. In case you haven't read any of my Tweets, I am not coping well without my precious StalkerBook. I had to remove the tab on my bookmarks bar to resist the temptation to click on it. My mouse still wanders to where it used to be. Now there's the button for my MySpace. Yes, on occasion I still dig out that old brontosaurus, mostly because no one uses it and I can post all of those super trashy bulletin surveys that people on Facebook judge you for posting too often. Whatever. Anyway, if you miss me on Facebook, I won't be gone long, and if you're a creeper 2.0, you can always follow me on Twitter, both literally and figuratively. Or you know, check el bloggito to see what I write, but I'm warning you, I have that little widget-y thing set up to only show my 10 most recent tweets. I'm a tweeting FOOL these days!

I started a new job yesterday! It's not too bad, but I'm starting to get bored already. I don't know how much of it I can tell you people in BloggityWorld about it because I had to sign about a million confidentiality papers yesterday and I would rather not lose my job a là Meg McBlogger. Soooo yeah. That's all I'm saying about that.

And now, today's installment of NAUGHTY HAIKU! Brought to you today by guest poet, Mommalicious! I have to warn you, she made this haiku (of sorts) by closing her eyes and randomly selecting magnets. I'm sure there's some technical term for that, but I don't give a hoo-ha.

It has adapted a very interesting pattern of 6-3-5. I'm not quite sure what to make of it.

Okay kids, it's bedtime for this working woman!

~Christine