it's a bad mood morning

Today's barely started and it's already going to be a bad day, I can tell.

Last night sucked. I can't eat Chipotle and then drink a lot because I just run out of room. Sorry, I only have so much space. And I was tired and I didn't really want to go out, but no, I don't get to make my own life choices apparently. If we start drinking at 6:30 and it's 10:30, that's already four hours of drinking. So if I start drinking at 10:30 or 11 like normal, four hours of drinking later would be 2:30 or 3. That's bedtime to me! So I already didn't want to go and I was cranky because all day long other people got to be cranky and I get cranky when other people get cranky. And then there's the other reason... he's leaving Monday. I've now asked him out SIX times and every single time he's been busy. I think it's time to move on and forget about him. But it's not that simple. My close friends know that I have a hard time moving on... just ask Bill or Phil. Especially Phil. He had to treat me like absolute shit and even then it was another couple of weeks before I moved on past him. So what am I supposed to do now? It's not like there are other guys around that I could have an interest in instead. I've pretty much given up on the music department and those are the only guys I know.

So last night sucked and now today's going to suck. I hate it when I wake up in a bad mood. I don't feel like I have anyone to talk to who won't yell at me or just listen and comment with "mmmhmm" and "that sucks". I want advice. I want guidance. I want my mom, but she knows nothing about the situation and that's how things are going to stay. I told myself that I would tell my parents about him when we went on an actual date. But we haven't. So they're not going to know. He just needs to be straightforward and blunt with me. Sometimes I think I'm like a guy because I don't take hints well. Just tell me the truth. That's all I ask.

I kinda feel like hiding for awhile.

~*tine*~