virgin post

Awesome. I have a new blog. I always like starting fresh.


On to more important matters. Like my life. Lately, I feel like I've lost any musical abilities. I'm in a serious funk. It's like I look at my music and I don't even know what the notes on the page mean anymore. Forget about adding in emotion. The piece that I'm playing for Friday at One next week is from Final Alice and I think it's when Alice dies (sorry if I ruined the ending for anyone, but it is called Final Alice). I can play it alright, but there's zero feeling behind it. Ms. Gilley describes it as 'cold' when I play it. It's an absolutely beautiful piece, especially if you listen to a recording of a vocalist performing it. There's so much emotion behind it and it's so ethereal. I just don't have the musical feelings right now. I've done a very good job of blocking out feelings and now when I need my overly-emotional female self, I can't summon it. I wish I could cry. I think if I cried it would help. Sadness is always the most real feeling for me. And since my piece is sad/depressing, if I cried it might help me remember what it feels like to be sad.

~*tine*~