I don't think I know how to be a positive person anymore. Today went from being kind of meh to an existential meltdown day. I woke up with a sinus headache, and even though I took all of the appropriate drugs (and then some), it still hasn't gone away. So I've resorted to beer.
It's no big surprise that I'm really unhappy here. I can't think of a single day since I've been in grad school that I was actually happy, unless I was at home or visiting Cleveland. I'm either miserable or just okay. Luckily, most of the time I'm okay, but I want more. I want the people at Kent to not being lying, rude, assholes. I want experience doing what I'm in school for. Maybe I'd understand cataloging better if I could actually practice it somewhere in the real world. I'm tired of being disappointed with most aspects of Kent. At this rate, I have no idea how I'm ever supposed to find a job after I graduate when I can't even find a low-paying library job. Plus, by being here, I'm racking up even more debt than I have from UD. I know it's a risk and it's one I needed to take because let's face it: a B.A. in Music is worthless, but I'm really starting to question if I made the right choice. The only thing that I find semi-enjoyable are my actual classes. Obviously, no class is perfect, and I complain about them sometimes, but overall I like them. I can't stand where I live. I didn't expect my building to be quite so... undergrad. I really think that as a 23 year old, I can manage without an RA. Or if we have an RA, at least have a good one! She's made no effort to get to know me, and that's a big problem. How am I supposed to go complain when people are doing body slams into the wall outside my door to someone who I've never met? She's sent a couple of emails, and I got a quality of life survey stuck under my door last week, and that's it. Either don't have an RA, or get an RA who will actually do their job.
For the time being, I'm going to wait things out. I'm hopeful that next semester might get better. I plan on reapplying for an assistantship for my second year, and I'm working on finding an internship for the summer, so at least I can have that experience under my belt. And I'm definitely moving off campus next year. I thought that maybe I could manage living here, but there's just no way I can do that and be happy. Things can't get any worse, right?
~ Christine
I'd be an awesome RA for you!!!!
ReplyDeleteMsg me your address at Kent...you might be getting something soon :)
RAs suck, unhelpful as possible! god forbid they earn their free room, right? just like the rest of school bureaucracy. and cannot wait to get the hell out of here, either.
ReplyDelete99% sure i'm just moving back home and showing up at KSU when i need to, moving to an apartment off campus and still not having a job just sounds even lonelier (if that can even be possible LOL). at least Pittsburgh is a big city with lots of libraries...one will have to hire me someday ;)
idk if this would work for you at all, but, since you are from the Columbus metro, could you transfer to that campus next year? it's a city, after all, so more jobs by virtue, and one you are familiar with at that...and looks like their ALA and other groups are just as, if not more, active as our's.
anyhow omg we are neverrrrrr going to learn how to catalogue, are we?