but i won't hesitate no more

So here's what I think is going on:

My POV: I want Bill to go out and make friends and have fun. I want to talk to Bill either online or on the phone everyday. I am okay with a quick 5 minute phone call if he's going out. I just need to hear something from him.

Bill's POV: I don't believe Christine. I think she wants more than just a five minute phone call if I'm going out. I also feel obligated to be online to talk to her.

We're kind of at a stalemate, but we kind of came to a conclusion. Basically, we're going to try this phone call business. I have my doubts about his end, and he has doubts about mine. We have horrible trust issues, and most of them are Laura's fault. She trained him to think that as the boyfriend, he should throw away the little social life that he has. She made him feel guilty all the time. She also scared him away from ever being okay with the idea of getting married. I want him to see that when it's the person you're meant to be with, you won't be scared. But he's so hung up on not falling in love and not ever getting married that he can't see the truth. I think he needs a counselor, and I think we both need a relationship counselor. I have no idea how this could ever happen with us at other ends of the country. Our conversation tonight was mostly going in circles. We really need a nonbiased third party to step in and say, "Okay, we've heard both sides. Now let's compromise!" I wanted us to compromise, but all he ever does is apologize and feel guilty. It's a little hard to draw a compromise with someone who is guilt-ridden over something they didn't even do wrong.

I hate her so much for what she did to him. It's really no wonder that he has so many issues, he spent his first major dating experience with someone who tore him down. Of course, I'm sure Nicole is saying the same thing about me, but I don't really care. I don't ever talk to Jeremy. Not that I don't want to, we just don't have anything to say, and when I leave cordial messages, he takes forever to respond.

I told Bill that I wished that he had taken Christian Marriage while he was here. He couldn't because he was afraid of Laura overreacting (another reason to hate her) and thinking that he was ready to get married. It's so much more than just marriage though. It's relationships too. Mostly dating, but some stuff can be applied to non-dating relationships. He at least needs to read the books. I know he won't because he's stubborn, but we would have a much healthier relationship if he did.

My jaw hurts so bad, this whole thing has been stressing me out so much that I've been grinding my teeth for the last day. I think I'll blame Laura.

~*tine*~